Free Weapon of Desire by L M Brook

what he has to say.”
    A nthony follows me “Darcey, you’re doing nothing wrong. You know you want this as much as I do.”
    I pour two coffees and hold one out to him hoping to sober the moment.
    “Anthony you make me feel alive and so happy, the more I resist, the more I want you.” His face is passive. “I have to satisfy myself that my feelings for Daniel have changed and that I no longer want him.”
    Anthony takes the mugs and puts them to one side. He holds my face in his hands and smiles affectionat ely. “Darcey, I’ll not give up on you but I’ll respect the space you need right now and back off.”
    He retrieves his coffee and takes a seat at the table adopting a working presenc e as he picks up the reports. I’m surprised at Anthony’s relaxed, grown up approach after experiencing his rage when I ignored his requests previously. I join him at the table with a light kiss to his forehead for understanding my mixed messages.
    The morning is concentrated and very fruitful with both of us occasionally drifting into each other’s glare or momentarily brushing close but both restraining our urges to act out our desires.
    Anthony stands and stretches, it is 1pm and I’m feeling hungry. Seated in my chair I admire the view.
    “Are you hung ry?” I rise from my chair. “I’ve homemade Thai Chicken soup?”
    “That sounds good.” Anthony withdraws his bleeping mobile phone to view a text message.
    I get busy in the kitchen as Anthony makes a call. He is very friendly as he speaks to confirm that he will collect them at 7.30pm. Then he finishes the call with “see you tomorrow.”
    He stands beside me in the kitchen and rests against the breakfast bar watching me warm the soup and carve slices from a fresh crusty loaf.
    “I could get used to this, you cooking for me every day.” He steals a piece of bread and munches.
    “Do you cook at home?” I’ m inquisitive to know more about him.
    “My mother has kitchen staf f. When I lived in London I’d eat out most of the time or Joanna would cook.” He doesn’t look at me when he throws away this comment.
    “Who’ s Joanna?” I enquire still stirring the soup which is filling the kitchen with a wonderful Thai aroma.
    “She was my girlfriend.” Anthony offers nothing more.
    “Oh, when did the relationship end?” my prying knows no boundaries.
    “ When she was murdered in my apartment.” Still there’s no eye contact as I freeze and stare in his direction.
    “What happened?” I insist on more information.
    “Someone broke in and she happened to be there in the way as they ransacked the place.” I get a first glimpse of his eyes as he finishes. “Police are still investigating.”
    “When did this happen?” I return to stirring my soup.
    “Six months ago.” He straightens and walks towards the lounge windows taking in the view of the lake.
    “ I’m so sorry, I’d no idea that you were going through so much yourself right now.” My eagerness to know more unleashes further questions. “I suppose your parents have been a great support for you?”
    “ Yes they put up with a lot when I drank myself into oblivion, got arrested for being drunk at the wheel and then the army decided to relocate me closer to them so they could help me get back on track.” Anthony looks out the window suggesting to me he was ashamed of this admission but then strolls back to the kitchen smiling as though relieved to have told me.
    “ You should be proud of yourself having come through the other side.” I smile trying to allay any concerns he may have for sharing this with me.
    Anthony releases a deep sigh and returns to my side dipping a finger into the soup. “That tastes great Darcey.”
    I recognise his attempt to change the subject and pour two large bowls of steaming broth as we sit at the breakfast bar.
    “So are you enjoying Suffolk and the new job?” we both greedily tuck in, dunking bread into our bowls.
    “Best move I’ve ever made.”