Free Without a Hitch by Andrew Price

was attended by hordes
of industry people, all looking for some advantage to be gained by meeting the
office’s senior staff.  Cooper Wilson used these conferences to encourage the industry
to lobby Congress for more funds for the office.
    “Turn to the back,”
Theresa said, “you’ll laugh yourself silly.”
    Corbin flipped
the pamphlet over.  “Humma humma humma ‘office continues to struggle in an understaffed capacity’?  ‘Imperils the mission’?”  Corbin furrowed his brow.  “Who wrote
this crap?”
    “Kak, who do you
think?”
    “What a lying
sack of—”
    “Do you think
we’ll have to go to this one?” Theresa asked, cutting Corbin off.
    “Don’t we
always?”
    “What’s the
date?” Beckett asked.  “Maybe I’ll be gone before it happens?”
    “No such luck,
partner, June 2nd,” Corbin said.
    “Shoot.”
    Theresa shook
her head.  “I thought there was some sort of mercy rule:  once you’ve been to
enough of these, they let you stop attending?”
    “You should
suggest that to Kak,” Corbin offered.
    “Sure, next time
we have dinner I’ll mention it right after the dessert course.”  Theresa rolled
her eyes.  She disliked Kak as much as anyone.  “At least we get a day off out
of it.”
    “Day off?  From
what?” Beckett snickered.
    Theresa didn’t
laugh.  Beckett was treading into an area they had already fought over twice before,
and she wasn’t going to let his reference to this ancient antagonism go
unchallenged.  “From work, what do you think?!”
    “What work? 
Nobody works around here.”
    “You know, I
take offense at that,” Theresa responded over her shoulder, without turning to
face Beckett.  “I work hard.”
    “I’m sorry,
Theresa, but no one here can claim they work hard, especially compared to the
real world.”
    “Don’t give me
that.  You can’t compare the private sector to the government.  I’m doing a
public service, which requires careful deliberation.  The private sector can’t
do that, all they care about is profit.  Besides, what do you expect, we’re
underpaid.  Do you know how much they get paid?  I do.  I worked in the private
sector before I came here.”
    “For six months,
ten years ago.”
    “It was enough,
let me tell you.  If they want me to work like I’m in the private sector, they
need to start paying me like I’m in the private sector.”  Theresa jabbed her
finger against Corbin’s deskfor emphasis as she
spoke.
    “That still
doesn’t explain why people here don’t give an honest day’s work.”
    “I don’t accept
that!”
    “Really?  How
much of your day is spent playing solitaire on the computer?”
    Beckett and
Theresa both raised their voices.
    “That’s not fair! 
This is a stressful job.  I need something to relieve the pressure.”
    “What pressure? 
There’s nothing stressful about this job!”
    Theresa slid off
Corbin’s desk and circled around toward Beckett like a boxer in a ring.  Despite
her tight pencil skirt and her unstable heels, she moved smoothly from years of
practice as she wore nothing else.  “Nothing stressful?!  We make decisions
that affect real people.”
    Beckett
stiffened.  “No we don’t.  We just review files to make sure money was spent properly.”
    “It affects
people.  Not to mention, the support around here is miserable.”  Theresa’s face
contorted with disgust.  Her nose flared, her forehead wrinkled, her eyes
narrowed and seemed to come together to a point, and she bared her teeth as she
curled her lips.  “They do nothing,” she hissed.  “I even have to write my own
letters because my secretary is totally worthless.  Now, she should be fired!”
Theresa yelled in a voice that was strangely reminiscent of a Disney villainess. 
“People like her make the rest of us look bad!”
    Beckett was
temporarily startled by her tone.
    Theresa squinted
her eyes.  “And let me tell you, I don’t see you working any harder than