Free Judging June (Downtown) by T J West Page B

allowed to call me Junith Beatrice were my parents. Other than that, June was it. I hated my name growing up. Beatrice. Ugh.
    “Come here,” he chuckles, yanking me over on top. One hand on my ass, the other behind my head and the lips find each other. Mmmm.
    Sadly I need to break away. “I have to pee again.” Stupid bladder. I sprint to the bathroom and do my business, but as I go to grab some toilet paper I feel a heaviness, cramping. Maybe having sex brought on the cramps, but that’s not it. I wipe myself and find a massive amount of blood.
    I scream, calling out for Phillip. He comes rushing into the bathroom looking alarmed. “What’s wrong!”
    “There’s blood. Lots of blood! Something’s wrong!” I start to panic as Phillip wraps me with a towel. He then races to get his cell phone and dials 911. Oh, my God, 911? What the hell is happening! I suddenly feel faint . . . . . . . . .

IT’S QUIET. REALLY, REALLY QUIET. As I walk through June’s apartment it seems the whole world has gone silent; like somehow, everyone knew we had lost the baby.
    There was blood—a whole lot of blood. I retrieved my cell phone, called 911, went back to June and found her unconscious. She lost so much blood she passed out, I was terrified she was going to die on me. The paramedics rushed her to the hospital, took her straight into the ER and left me alone in the waiting room, covered in blood. I didn’t know what to do, I felt at a complete loss.
    While I waited for any news about June, I made calls to Faith and June’s parents. By the time they arrived I was in a clean pair of scrubs one of the nurses gave me to change into. I dumped my other clothes in the trash; the thought of taking those home. . . . I just couldn’t.
    We all sat in that damn waiting area, for God knows how long, without any news. We were going stir crazy. My mind was on overdrive, trying to figure what went wrong, and if June and the baby were going to be okay? Sadly, I knew that deep down we had lost our baby. You can’t have that much blood loss and think everything is going to be okay . . . you just can’t. In the end I could have lost them both. I’m not so sure I would be able to handle losing two people I’ve come to love, all at one time.
    We were finally taken to June’s room; she was hooked up to an IV and were told she had a blood transfusion—damn, that’s really bad. Soon after, we were told June lost the baby and since she had lost so much blood she would need to stay in the hospital for a day or two, for observation reasons. Next, the doctor so kindly told me how sorry he was about the loss of our kid. Fuck you, doc. My heart sank the moment those words “she lost the baby” came out of his mouth, I wanted him to shut the hell up. I didn’t want it to be true, and I didn’t want to tell June.
    Faith and Virginia were both visibly upset; they held onto each other and cried. Jasper came over to me and patted my back and did his best to keep the tears in. I just wanted to sit by June’s bedside and cry into her chest; hold her hand, kiss her on the forehead. Yet I felt glued to the floor, I couldn’t move. I couldn’t feel anything, nor did I want to feel anything. I wanted this nightmare to go away and pretend it never happened.
    I stood in the background as Virginia told June the news. I should have been the one telling her and comforting her, but Virginia thought it was best she tell her. I didn’t have the strength to go through with it anyhow. I watched how calm and nurturing Virginia was explaining to June what had happened. I saw the look in June’s eyes, how devastated and gutted she was. I have never witnessed anything like it. Then the crying began and I couldn’t be in the room any longer. My vision became blurred as I exited out of the room. I took a walk down a deserted hallway, slowly crouched down on the ground and began to sob; I covered my eyes with my fists and let everything out. From what I built up