Free Vamparazzi by Laura Resnick Page A

thumbs-up.
    â€œNo, of course not,” Thack said soothingly. “Put the thought out of your head. It never entered mine.”
    â€œThen why have you been avoiding me for weeks?” I demanded.
    â€œBecause you keep asking when I’m coming to the show!”
    â€œBut you always attend your clients’ shows!”
    â€œYes, but in this case, I just ... just . . .”
    â€œWhat?” I said. “You just what?”
    â€œI just ... hate vampires,” he grumbled.
    I blinked. “ That’s the problem?”
    Leischneudel’s eyes widened. “Thack hates vampires ?”
    I whispered to Leischneudel, “You heard that?”
    â€œYes!” Thack cried, unburdening himself with gusto now. “I hate vampires!”
    â€œOh.” After a moment, I said with weary commiseration, “I know the feeling.”

5
    â€œB ut, Thack,” I continued,“haven’t you had other clients in vampire shows?”
    â€œNot so far,” he said. “I’ve been lucky.”
    â€œOh.”
    â€œLook, I could cope with sitting through a stage adaptation of a gothic classic that a more merciful culture than ours would have let remain neglected,” Thack said. “I really could. After all, I’ve sat through worse things. Many times.”
    â€œUh-huh.” I recalled now that Thack hadn’t been enthusiastic about getting me an audition for this play. He’d done so only at my insistence, after I’d heard about it from another actor.
    â€œBut a neglected vampire gothic, with a leading man who claims to be a vampire, and an audience of people who dress up in vampire costumes?” He made a sound of physical pain. “It’s obscene!”
    Thack shouted so loudly that I jerked the phone away from my ear for a moment.
    Leischneudel asked, “Is he all right?”
    â€œWho is that?” said Thack.
    â€œLeischneudel Drysdale,” I said. “He plays Aubrey.”
    â€œOh, yes,” Thack said, recovering his composure. “He’s been getting very good notices, hasn’t he?”
    â€œSo have I,” I snapped. “When they bother to mention me.”
    â€œYes, I know you have,” my agent said soothingly. “I have been following the show in the press, Esther. But I . . .” He made a muffled sound of disgust. “I loathe vampire plays.”
    â€œYes, I think I’ve grasped that.”
    â€œ And vampire movies. And TV shows. And vampire novels! And wine cooler ads! ” He was really warming to his theme. “I just HATE them!”
    â€œI want you to take a deep breath and calm down,” I said firmly.
    â€œSorry,” he said. “ Sorry. It’s a thing.”
    â€œI can tell.”
    After a moment, Thack sighed and added, “But you’re right, of course. You’re a client, and I should have come to see you in this vampire play well before now. And I apologize for being so obtuse that you thought I was planning to drop you. So . . .” He stifled a little groan. “Get me a seat for tomorrow. I’ll be there.”
    â€œYou’re not going to have anti-vampire hysterics during the performance, are you?” I asked anxiously.
    â€œNo. Of course not.” After a moment he added, “I don’t think so.”
    â€œLook,” I said, “maybe this isn’t such a good idea, after all.”
    â€œNo, I’m coming,” he said. “I will not neglect a client on the basis of mere . . . good taste.”
    â€œOookay. I’m glad. I think.” Realizing it would be kind to throw him a bone at this point, I said, “By the way, Leischneudel Drysdale needs a new agent.”
    â€œOh?”
    I could practically hear Thack sitting up straighter. Lots of actors wanted a new agent, of course; but not many of them were employed actors getting good reviews in a high-profile show.
    â€œYes,” I said. “His agent