Free Torn (Torn Heart) by Annie Brewer

humdinger.
    Randa : Oh, I love humdingers. Now you’re gonna keep me in suspense. Damn you, Sky.
    I laugh and tell her I’ll see her at lunch.
    Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Mr. Shaw standing close to where I’m sitting. “So what are you working on, Ms. McKenzie?” I’m just starting but I already know how it’ll look. I found a picture of Jackson and me when we were five and six, in a box in my closet. We were sitting on a rock, looking out at the ocean. My mother took the picture. She always had an idea that we’d end up together.
    “I’m painting a boy and a girl, best friends, in their innocence.”              
    He smiles, approvingly. “It’s gonna look great, I’m sure.”
    My mind drifts off to Jackson, remembering his smirk and when he touched me. At least he wants to be friends again.
    I smile and put my paintbrush to work, hoping I can recapture the kids in the picture. Maybe one day we’ll be that close again.
     
    Randa’s voice behind me says, “So, he seriously said that?”
    “Yeah, crazy right? It’s like something’s changed.” I grab my tray of food and pay the lunch lady. I scan the cafeteria for Jackson, hoping I can catch a glimpse of him. I won’t become obsessed or anything. I do wanna see him, though.
    “See, I think Amber is two-timing him. Or maybe she’s just not satisfying his needs.”
    Disappointment fills my chest when I see neither of them. No, relief with Amber, but disappointment with Jackson. “Well, either way, I’ll be happy to have my friend back.”
    Ian waves us over. “Hey I got us a table.”
    Finally, I see Amber walk in alone. She looks upset.  She finds and joins her crew. Jackson doesn’t show up. I don’t know if I should feel relieved or disappointed.
    “So, I’m guessing he saw the picture?” She asks me.
    Ian looks at me, “Who?”
    “Jackson.” I answer him. I look at Randa, “Yes, he told me I looked nice.”
    “Ha! See? I knew he’d like the picture. Aren’t I a genius?” She tends to her food, proud. “I guess silly games pay off.” She sticks her tongue out at me.
    “He also asked if I was dating Jared. Again.” She laughs, knowing that’d happen, based on the picture. We did look friendly, and I guess those who don’t know us would assume we were an item. But why would he really think I’m dating his brother? Just because we’re close…it’s a crazy thought.
    “So are you going to ask Jackson out or something?” Randa shovels some potatoes in her mouth.
    I gape at her. “Seriously? There’s no way that’s happening. We haven’t even hung out, outside of school yet.”
    “So, invite him somewhere. It’s not hard.” Yeah right. I’m not that confident it would go well.
    Ian nods as if to agree with her. “I think she has a good point. You don’t have to go out on a date with him. At least not while he’s with her,” he nods to his girlfriend who’s laughing at her friends. “Just invite him over for to your house for a movie. Friends do that.” Okay, I could do that. We used to watch movies together all the time.
    I watch Ian kiss Randa on the cheek sweetly. I’d love to experience dating, but there’s no one that I’m interested in. No one available anyway. It looks nice, easy.
    I just hope to fall in love; real love. I mean. The way my parents did. Their love was the kind everyone wanted. My father respected my mother and treated her with kindness and love. And she did the same. Maybe that’s why she hasn’t moved on; it’s rare to find that kind of love. And once you find it, nothing else can live up to it. It only comes once. I feel a stab of pain for her, knowing she’s facing life alone. Send her a sign, dad.
    Randa waves her hand in my face. “Hey, are you okay?” 
    I blink and look up at her concerned eyes. “Yeah, sorry. I guess I dozed off.” I stand up with my tray, “I’m done, I’m gonna throw my trash away.” I look down at my barely eaten lunch, take my