Free What's Left of Me (Finally Unbroken Book 2) by Maria Macdonald Page A

not sure anymore why I allowed him to bring me here, to take me anywhere actually. This is all the result of a silly crush that I have on an unobtainable man.
    “You know I lost Amanda.” Ruben’s words break me from the spiral I was edging toward, and I release a stuttering breath. Closing my eyes slowly and swallowing, I can almost feel his pain, like it exists as its own being. “Laurie,” Ruben speaks softly and I feel his fingers graze my arm.
    Opening my eyes the first thing I see is his smile. It’s sad, but not broken like it was before. This is where I can see the change in him. He used to be so obviously broken, that I didn’t know if he would ever get past it. When he disappeared from my life, I worried that he had become a statistic, that he would lose his life either to the drink, living day by day consumed by alcohol, or maybe even lose his life in the literal sense. It amazes me that this is the same man. His progress is something he should be proud of, yet understanding how it feels to lose someone you love, I know that pride in getting over their death is not something I’d want as my accomplishment.
    Remembering he said my name I reply, “What?”
    “It’s okay.” I’m unsure what he’s trying to convey, so I tilt my head slightly. Ruben takes in my movement and stares for a few moments, before matching my stance, tilting his head until it’s aligned with mine. “I used to hate talking about her. For two reasons. One, because it reminded me, and although she was on my mind all the time, it seemed to hurt more when I let out the words. Secondly, because I felt that no one deserved her story. Nobody was good enough including myself, I didn’t deserve to speak her name.” With our heads still tilted, I bite my lip and slowly straighten my body back up.
    Ruben does the same, then points between the two of us. “I used to feel like that.”
    I can feel my eyebrows pull inwards as the confusion makes my brain fuzzy. “You’ve lost me… feel like what?” I question.
    “Like my world was tilted.” His response rocks me. The slanting of our heads is symbolic for him. I can’t think on it too long before he explains, “I always felt like my life was off. I’ve never been able to put my finger on it just that something was missing. I had a thriving company, good friends and a full life. I also had no problem finding women.” He watches me, measuring my reaction to his comment, but I bite back anything I feel. I’m not entitled to let a small comment hurt me, I’m not even sure if he’s my friend, so I definitely have no claim on him, or his previous life.
    When he seems satisfied he continues with his story, “I was friends with Danny, but we both left our hometowns behind, along with women we had cared about. It was Anabel for Danny, he left her even though he loved her. I had always liked Amanda, I’d wanted to take things further, but something always stopped me pursuing her.” He shakes his head with a smirk. “Danny went back after years of being away and he met up with Anabel. Around that time, Amanda had come back from Paris, which is where she’d lived for ten years.”
    My heart thumps in my chest. I’m torn, amazed and elated that he’s opening up, but scared shitless, because I don’t want to know more about her. From what I picked up when I was last in his life she already sounds amazing. My thoughts are cut off quickly.
    “Danny and Anabel soon became a couple again. Amanda and me had a natural connection. I’m not going to lie, I loved her. I was going to marry her.”
    There it is. I knew this basic information about him, but somehow hearing it come from his lips, makes it feel like he’s piercing me with every word.
    “She wasn’t meant to be my forever though.”
    I catch my breath. “She could have been.” The sentence involuntarily leaves my brain and travels to my mouth, spewing out with no filter applied.
    “She could have been.” He echoes my