Free Jacob Two-Two Meets the Hooded Fang by Mordecai Richler Page A

for you.”
    “I want to play,” said Jacob Two-Two. “I want to play.”
    “Hey,” said Noah, pointing at the kitchen window, “listen, Mommy’s calling you.”
    Jacob Two-Two found his mother in the kitchen. “Did you call me?” he asked. “Did you call me?”
    “No, dear.”
    Jacob Two-Two didn’t ask if he could help cook the dinner. He knew his mother would smile and say he was too little, just as he was too little to go to a real school, like the one his brothers went to. And, more than anything, Jacob Two-Two longed to go to a real school, even though Noah had warned him they had punishment cells there, dark and gloomy, with double-locked doors, and that naughty boys ultimately had to appear before a judge. At a real school, Noah had also said, good boys were served chips with red wine for lunch, followed by ice cream and cigars.
    “Now you run off and play,” said Jacob Two-Two’s mother. “I’ll call you when dinner’s ready.”
    His brothers and sisters didn’t want him. His mother didn’t need him. So Jacob Two-Two went to find his father. He was lying on the living room sofa reading the newspaper.
    “I want to run an errand,” said Jacob Two-Two. “I want to run an errand.”
    “You’re still too small,” said his father.
    “No, I’m not. I’m not!” said Jacob Two-Two. And, suddenly, he burst into tears.
    “All right, then.” His father dug into his pocket for some coins. “Go to Mr. Cooper, the greengrocer, two doors down the street, and get me two pounds of firm, red tomatoes.”

CHAPTER 2
    acob Two-Two ran off, just a little frightened because this was his first errand, and Emma had warned him that Mr. Cooper, the greengrocer, was two-faced. He was nice to children as long as their parents were with them. He pinched their cheeks and offered them grapes. But if a child came into his shop alone, he made him wait until all the big people had been served. Emma said Mr. Cooper was sour as a lemon.
    Jacob Two-Two clutched his coins as he entered Mr. Cooper’s shop. He saw that the greengrocer was pear-shaped, his brown hair cut short, like a coconut.His eyes were small as orange seeds, but his ears big as cauliflower leaves. His nose was red and veined as a beet, and his stomach stuck out like a sack of potatoes.
    “What do you want?” asked Mr. Cooper.
    “I want two pounds of firm, red tomatoes. I want two pounds of firm, red tomatoes.”
    Mr. Cooper frowned. He was insulted. For he had no way of knowing that Jacob Two-Two said everything two times, because what with so many people in his house, two parents, two older brothers and two older sisters, nobody ever heard him the first time.
    “There’s no need to chew your cabbage twice in here,” said Mr. Cooper.
    “But I’m Jacob Two-Two. I’m two plus two plus two years old. And, if you please, I want two pounds of firm, red tomatoes. Two pounds of firm, red tomatoes.”
    “You stop making fun of me,” said Mr. Cooper, winking at his other customers, all of them big people, “or I’ll call the police.”
    And just then Mr. Cooper did in fact see thepoliceman passing on his rounds and summoned him inside.
    “What is it, Mr. Cooper?” asked the policeman.
    “I’m being mocked,” said Mr. Cooper. All the big people in the shop laughed. “By this one,” the greengrocer added, pointing a finger as long as a carrot at Jacob Two-Two.
    The policeman looked down at Jacob Two-Two. “What is it, boy?”
    Terrified, Jacob Two-Two replied: “All I want, if you please, is two pounds of firm, red tomatoes. All I want is two pounds of firm, red tomatoes.”
    Mr. Cooper stamped his foot. He beat his fist against his forehead. “I demand justice. This exasperating little boy,” he insisted, “must be charged with insulting behavior to a big person.”
    The policeman, holding back his laughter, took a step toward Jacob Two-Two. But Jacob Two-Two, his heart thumping, ducked and flew out of the shop.
    “Hey,” Mr. Cooper