Free Drinking and Tweeting by Brandi Glanville, Leslie Bruce

out her stretch marks. I know my friends are just trying to make me laugh or prove how loyal they are to me, but all it does is remind me that he chose her—stretch marks and all. Despite my offering him a second chance and all his promises of fidelity, he wouldn’t let go of LeAnn, and our family was destroyed because of it.
    I understand that my life has forever been changed by their decisions and, for better or for worse, they will be a chapter in my life—one that I will occasionally need to relive, whether it’s in writing this book, discussing itwith friends or viewers of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills going through difficult times, or in the conversations I will one day need to have with my sons and whomever I choose to share my life with.
    However, I no longer have Google alerts set to notify me when Eddie and LeAnn stage another paparazzi shoot at my son’s soccer game, and I don’t need to be reminded that they will soon be celebrating their second wedding anniversary. (Really, they had to get married in fucking Malibu? #BlowMe) And I no longer need the daily updates from my friends. I know they think an “update” is what I prefer, but it’s not. Not anymore.
    So, unless it’s something that is essential for your friend to know, spare him or her the details. While those friends might be angry when they first find out you withheld information, eventually they will understand that you did it with their best interests at heart.
    Rest assured that if your friend wants to vent about some obnoxious article or Facebook post, or if he or she is teary-eyed and needs a shoulder, he or she will reach out.
    As the divorcée or subject of the breakup, depending on your friends is absolutely crucial, but know your limits! Friends can quickly grow tired of feeling sorryfor you—unless you’re always picking up the check, in which case their sympathies (and wineglasses) are bottomless.
    People, hopefully, have their own lives to live and their own problems to worry about. It’s easy to become completely self-involved when you’re faced with hardships, but it’s important to remember to be there for your friends, too. You have to be able to read the signs. When they no longer pick up on the first ring (and perhaps not at all) or when their responses and advice become less sympathetic, it’s time to reevaluate how much you’re leaning on a particular person. It’s not because these people don’t love you, it’s because they have their own shit going on (or they’ve been abducted by LeAnn Rimes). While sometimes we all need to climb out of our own fog to realize that we’re far from perfect, what I can say with total confidence is that I’ve always been a good friend.
    It may seem obvious, but when you’re going through any difficult period, spending time with those who know and love you can be tremendously healing. It’s not always about curling up on the couch with a box of Kleenex and a pint of ice cream. Being around your friends provides a great opportunity to get back to being you. While wemay feel this overwhelming urge to flee, we know running isn’t going to help. Wherever you go, your problems will follow, because it’s impossible to check your brain or your heart at the border. They will follow you anywhere you go.
    I chose to surround myself with either people who made me laugh or those I could drown my sorrows with. Laughter can cure just about anything—except a wretched hangover. For that, I suggest EBOOST.
    After countless tears, laughs, and memories, you learn that your friends will always be there for you. Unless your ex’s new wife takes them to Cabo.
brandi’s babble
There are two kinds of friends to avoid at all costs: wannabes and former child stars.

CHAPTER FIVE
    Drugs and Other Drugs
    S hortly after giving birth to my youngest, sitting on the floor of the Woodland Hills Target’s diaper aisle and crying was fast becoming a part of my daily routine. Now, I’m not a doctor, but