she
willed her pulse to slow down. “The way you just happened to forget your birth
control pills. Right before you brought up the subject of parenthood.” Resting
his elbows on the chair arms and steepling his long aristocratic fingers, he
speculated aloud. “Wasn’t that a bit coincidental?”
“Not
really.” She refused to let him put her on the defensive. If he had questions,
she’d answer them like a mature adult, not like some needy unwed mother without
hope, or help, or her own resources. “We hadn’t been together for a few months.
I’d been considering the idea of having another child ever since I returned to
New York.”
“Are
you admitting that you planned to come to Atlanta to get pregnant?” His steely
glance seemed to bore into her, into the deepest, darkest recess of her heart
where all her guilty secrets burned.
“I
didn’t plan it, no. Not in the way you describe it.”
“Then
you describe it.”
“When
I came back from California and realized how much I wanted another child, I
knew that if wanted to go through some type of pregnancy, the sooner I got off
the pill, the better.” She shrugged. It seemed like a sensible decision at the
time.
“Some
type of pregnancy?” he repeated. “What the hell does that mean? How many types
of pregnancy are there?”
She
ran through the list.“Artificial insemination. In vitro fertilization. In utero
fertilization. All of them require a sperm donor of some sort.”
“A
sperm donor?” His amber eyes flashed fire at the clinical term. “And I was the
lucky choice? Should I be grateful I got to make the donation in person instead
of in a cup?”
She
cringed. The passion of that night couldn’t be reduced to the kind of clinical
procedure under discussion. “You know it wasn’t like that.”
“Then
how was it?” He used a sharper tone than she’d ever heard from him before.
“When
I was investigating pregnancy—” she hesitated over the correct word “—options,
you called and asked me to come to Atlanta. It was after you contacted me that
I realized you were everything I was looking for in a father for my child. I
intended to ask you if you were interested in the—” again she searched for an
inoffensive term “—project. But you know what happened when I got there.”
“Yes,
I do.” He smiled briefly and a sensual light flared in his eyes. “We have a
history of making love first, asking questions later. That night was no
different.”
Her
throat that had gone dry from the heated memory. “I tried to bring up the
subject without making you suspicious as soon as I became aware of the possible
consequences.”
“And
I told you I didn’t want children. Didn’t that give you pause?” He was turning
the whole conversation into an inquisition, for crying out loud.
“Of
course it did. That’s why I told you I’d forgotten my pills. So you’d know we
needed to use protection for the rest of the week. Naively, I hoped the one time—two
times—” she corrected herself with a blush “—wouldn’t matter. When the first
pregnancy test showed positive, I knew your Maitland sense of responsibility
would make you feel obligated to us whether you wanted a child or not. Like it
has.” That explanation was as close to the truth as she planned to get.
“Or
were you afraid I’d realize you didn’t have the guts to ask me for what you
really wanted?”
He
deserved answers, but enough was enough. She refused to let him bully her to
get them. “If you think siring a child is all about somebody wanting or taking
something from you and not about receiving anything in return, you’re more of a
self-centered egotist than I imagined. And it’s absolutely no wonder you have
trouble maintaining inter-personal relationships.”
He
reared back in his seat, as if Kara had fired a blowtorch at him. “I don’t have
trouble with inter-personal relationships.”
“Hah!”
She sprang to her feet and emphasized each point with a