Free Nan's Story by Paige Farmer

have five minutes at best before the bridal party introductions. Quickly removing her gloves to reveal a growing dark purple swath just under her right elbow, she slid a cigarette out of her purse. After lighting it, Nan gingerly rubbed her injury as she walked over to the window and peered down into the backyard.
    The sound of ‘Moonlight Serenade’ filled the air as Nan exhaled on a deep, deep sigh. Well-dressed guests were milling around the periphery of the tent below or lined up at the bar. The mouthwatering smell of lobster Newburgh reached her, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten a decent meal in more than a day. She’d been too excited at the idea of seeing Charlie again. That made worse the pang his leaving caused and extinguished her hunger.
    Another part of her though, the part closer to the events that had shaped her life since the last time she’d seen Charlie, recognized she had no business going down that road anyway. There simply wasn’t enough distance of time or space between the cataclysm of her second marriage and the present moment to consider any other way than the way things were. Entertaining anything more than a polite hello with Charlie would have been stupid, not to mention an unforgivable betrayal to Buddy. Playing around with the stability in CJ’s life again would have been just plain cruel as well. Perhaps his disappearance was for the best. The universe’s way of keeping house.
    Nan stubbed out her half-smoked cigarette and left the quiet of her room for the celebration below. She found the wedding party gathered in a loose knot standing near the patio doors in the living room. Chatter filled the room as they waited for Arthur and Laura.
    Buddy spotted Nan and walked toward her.
    “I can’t wait to get this frigging noose off,” he muttered, pulling at his neck as he neared.
    “I think you look handsome,” Nan said honestly, reaching up to straighten the offending tie.
    “You think? I think I look like one of those friggin’ penguins ma has running around here serving whore-derves.”
    “That would be beluga on blini, dear Buddy,” Nan teased in her best imitation of Elsie. She didn’t bother mentioning Buddy’s intentional massacre of the word ‘hors d'oeuvres’.
    “Jesus, its fish eggs on crackers! If this is what havin’ money is all about, I’ll stick with my piss pot and shepherd’s pie, thanks anyway.”
    Nan didn’t care for caviar either, but was used to the salty little bubbles that popped when you bit them. Her mother and Joe always served it at parties, but the beluga was special. It had only been busted out one other time at the celebration they hosted when Joe made partner. She didn’t think Buddy would give a damn about the distinction so didn’t bother pointing it out.
    “CJ out back with ma and Joe?” Buddy asked.
    Nan nodded.
    “It’ll be good for you and the kid to have some time without her around. Hell, I’m always ready to hit the road after a couple of hours with her and the blowhard. Can’t imagine what it must be like livin’ with ‘em. You gotta’ be a saint little sister. Saint Sister Nancy Elaine, that’s you,” he said smiling.
    “Saint Nancy, huh? Just how low is your bar?” Nan said laughing. “It will be different around here without her, that’s for sure. I simply don’t know what I’ll do with myself,” she added sarcastically.
    Buddy chuckled.
    “So listen, I gotta’ ask. What’s the fascination with Charlie Parker?” he inquired. His face was a question mark.
    “What…what do you mean?” she stammered. Shit, shit, shit, she thought.
    “I’m not stupid Nan,” Buddy said in a low voice. “The look on your face last night after Arthur told us Charlie was coming. And what about today at the church, huh? You think I didn’t see you watchin’ him? Not good. Not good at all.”
    “Give it a rest Buddy,” Nan said more forcefully than intended. “It’s nothing, all right? I mean Charlie was your friend for