Free Miss Simpkins' School: Jane by Raven McAllan Page B

cousin, were bosom pals, along with Luke De Freitas. They were the golden boys. I adored them all. Or maybe that is a simplification of the situation.” She bit her lip as she concentrated on the best way to continue. “I adored John in a cousinly way, and by default Nic, as he seemed to be an extension of my cousin. Imagine my shock when I discovered how true that thought was. Luke, I just worshipped. I only had to see him to get the strangest tingle inside. When he touched me, in any innocent way, my skin went on fire and my nipples would peak so hard they hurt. And my—” she blushed, swallowed, and cleared her throat. “My quim and channel would be moist. Of course I had no idea what it meant. Nor the way Nic and John looked at each other, frequently held each other, and Luke stood back, almost as if he was on guard for them.”
    “Ah.” Now Molly had an inkling what Jane was hinting. “I had heard nothing.”
    “I’m relieved to hear it. Now where was I? Ah yes. I yearned for Luke, but he ignored me. Except sometimes I saw the way he looked at me. As if I was the Holy Grail, and he couldn’t touch or hold me—it... It gave me hope. Maybe one day, when I was older, he’d let us discover what we may feel for each other.
    Then one hot afternoon, the boys—well, men as they were nigh on twenty then—said they were going to swim in the river and I was not invited. Of course it annoyed me. Why not? I was as hot as they were and I needed to cool off as much as them. So I followed them. And what I saw, well...” Her voice trailed away and she stared into the fire.
    “They were getting hotter?”
    Jane jumped, as if she’d been deep in thought. “Oh, yes. I must have been fully half an hour behind them. Long enough for them to get naked, swim, and carry on as they intended. When I arrived, Luke was nowhere to be seen, John was bollocks deep inside Nic’s arse, and they were both shouting their completion.”

Chapter Two
    As she spoke those words, words she’d carried around inside her for almost twenty years, a great weight lifted from Jane’s heart. Molly looked neither disgusted nor surprised, and for that Jane was thankful. Whether Molly would accept her next revelation so easily she had no idea.
    “I turned away so that they wouldn’t know I was there, and ran into Luke. A very naked Luke. And I looked my fill. He was magnificent. I stretched out to stroke his staff. He was furious, and pushed my hand away. Heaven help me I slapped him for asking me what the hell I was doing. He shook me, and then kissed me.” She smiled at the memories. “It was enough to set those trembles off even faster. When he put his hands on me and stroked my breasts, I wanted more. I pressed myself to him, and he nigh on threw me away. Then he told me he apologized. That his dark side had taken over, and he hoped I could forgive him his temerity at doing such a thing.” She sighed. “Forgive something that made me yearn for whatever else men did to women? There was nothing to forgive and I told him so. However, he bade me go home and forget all of what had transpired that day. But I could not. Luke had given me a glimpse of what I wanted. John and Nic had seemed so happy, and I wondered why it was considered perverse, and why so few people indulged.”
    “It’s more common than a lot of people think,” Molly said softly. “I pity those who feel that way and have to be so clandestine about their feelings. Love, in my mind, is love be it between men, women, or a mixture of each. But it must have been hard for you. Did you love Nic?”
    “Nic? No, but he was special, an extra cousin, so to speak. Luke? Oh, I had what would be known as an infatuation for him. I’d weave the most ridiculous scenarios around him in my mind. He was my hero, my savior, and my husband all rolled into one. Well, none of those came true. However, I did marry. Just not in the manner I expected.” She took a deep breath. “No, that is not fair.