Free All In My Head (First Tracks Book 1) by Kristen James

dream anyway, I
felt the rigid line of her back. She tried to lean back relaxed-like but I
could see it.
    Kyle pushed Avery up, standing with her, and grabbed her
hand. “Come on.”
    She looked relieved for a second but he walked toward the
back of the house. One of the guys threw a look back but neither said anything.
Obviously that was why Kyle had brought Avery over. Kyle went straight into a
room, shut the door and pulled Avery against him, kissing her.
    Thank effing God I wasn’t in her head for that.
    Kyle ran his hands under her shirt.
    AVERY! Wake the fuck up!
    She ran her hands up his arms like she liked it. Then, she
pushed him back a bit. “Kyle … your friends are right out there …”
    “It’s cool. Jacob said we could use the room.”
    Avery and I looked at the unmade bed at the same time. The
light tan sheet looked darker in the middle from built-up sweat and oil stains,
and the blanket was on the floor. She shuddered.
    I swung at Kyle but my fist went right through his head.
    No! I tried again. Same thing.
    It’s a dream. We’re all fake here. They should see me, damn
it.
    Avery glanced at the door and back at Kyle. Her gaze dropped
to his mouth, and that’s all the encouragement he needed. He went after her again
like he was trying to resuscitate her.
    I turned and walked at the door, thinking I’d go through. I
ran into it.
    What the hell?
    Avery, get me out of here!
    I yelled it right in her face, the part that wasn’t getting
sucked into Kyle’s mouth anyway. I verped in my mouth and swallowed acid,
surprised to feel something so clearly. That hadn’t been happening in her head.
    I paced around them, swinging at Kyle until I broke out in a
sweat. He unhooked her bra.
    “Kyle—”
    “Shh.” He pulled her down on the bed, on her back, then
tried to roll on top of her. She twisted so he couldn’t, and he went back to
reaching up her shirt.
    It’s a memory. An effing memory. I couldn’t stop it if it
already happened. But I didn’t have to watch either. I paced, looking at the
door, trying not to listen to Kyle’s disgusting moans.
    “Kyle, wait … I want to talk about it.”
    “What’s there to talk about?” he asked. “We’re in love and
we’ve waited a long time.”
    “It’s just this place. I don’t like it.” She sounded so
small. Scared. How could Kyle not hear that? Was his boner stuck up in his
ears?
    “It’s okay. It doesn’t matter. I want you so bad, Avey.” He
went for her neck. I couldn’t keep my eyes off them. I wanted to rip him up,
break some ribs, pull her out of here.
    I’d never felt so helpless—it was my helplessness and hers.
    Shit. I was feeling her fear … her rapid heartbeat … her
stomach coiling in on itself … the sickness pooling in her lower abdomen, a mix
of arousal and unease. She wanted this with Kyle, a little, but she was freaked
out even more.
    He whispered in her ear and on her neck for a while. I tried
talking to her, tried forcing my way into her body so I could fight him off,
but this wasn’t the same. Kyle pulled her shirt up while he slid down, putting
his mouth on her stomach. He pulled her shirt farther up, pushing her bra out
of the way—
    I looked away. I’d been dying for a peek but not like this.
     I punched his head with both fists, right left, right left,
knowing it wouldn’t work. I didn’t care.
    STOP!
    I yelled loud enough the entire block should have heard. I
knew she didn’t want to do this. He knew it, the bastard. She pushed
against him and he grabbed her wrist to pull her hand up over her head.
    “Kyle, NO .” The firmness in her voice brought his
head up. Suddenly I heard his hoarse breathing, scrapping in and out of his
lungs. He ground his hips against her even while she said no. “I don’t want our
first time together here. It’s gross. I want to leave. Now.”
    “Avey, come on.”
    “NOW! Stop. Let me up.”
    He yelled a guttural, animal noise as he shoved off the bed
hard. Ave recoiled,