Free The Acrobats by Mordecai Richler

world …”
    Theresa had told him about the landlord, but he was certain about the doctor. His name was Bergman.
    “Oh, what do I care about the Jews!” Toni said.
    “Do you live with him?”
    Toni did not reply.
    “He is not even a communist. I could respect him if he at least had the courage for that. But, no. He is nothing. A coward.”
    Toni laughed shrilly. “It is you who are afraid,” she said.
    “Afraid? Afraid of what?”
    “Oh, I don’t know!”
    “Well, I’ll tell you. It’s their talk. Talk, talk, talk. They make a man dizzy with their talk!”
    Toni turned away from him. She found a cigarette on the dresser and lit it. Now he is in his room, she thought. He is painting or looking out of the window and thinking with his forehead all creased up.
I am with him, I’m not here at all
.
    “Does he give you money?”
    “Why does everyone think they can be filthy with me?”
    Kraus moved towards her almost sadly. He took her in his arms and she turned her face away. She felt his hand on her breast. It was a hard hand, not understanding and kind like the hand of André.
    “You will never be any better than a whore with him,” he said.
    She struggled out of his arms. But when she saw the expression on his face she was sorry.
    “I love another man.”
    “I love you,” he said with difficulty.
    Unwillingly, Toni thought: his love is realer than André’s. She felt panicky. André, more than anything else, feels sorry for all of us without understanding. But Kraus looks up to me, he needs me.
    “I am so tired. Tired of politics, tired of killing. You don’t understand what she does to me. Oh, I hate her,” he said passionately, “I could kill her.”
    “Roger, I’m sorry. I …”
    Roger was pale and his face was rigid. She wished she could love him. It would be better than André.
    “They all hate me for what I have done. Chaim, the men in the bars. It’s her fault, she always told me what to do. I would like to be their comrade. I … Do you like skiing?”
    His eyes were bright and unseeing. She was no longer frightened and suddenly she pulled his head to her breast. “I have never been skiing,” she said.
    “I am good with my hands. We could go to Germany and she would never find us. I could be a carpenter.” He stopped short. “They would put me in jail, they say I killed …”
    “Roger, you are a man. Why don’t you leave her?”
    Kraus laughed pathetically. “She is so strong. I hate her, but I can’t leave her. Who else would talk to me? Who … You don’t know what it is to be lonely. What if the things I did were wrong, what if the dead really weren’t bad?” He. held her urgently and his grip was as strong as steel. “We could go to South America, to Argentina. I have friends there.”
    “Roger, you don’t understand. I love André. You can only be my friend.”
    He pushed her away and laughed hoarsely. “I do not want to be your friend!”
    “There are other women. You are not a bad man, you will find …”
    “I’m going away. I’m going, I’m going!”
    “Roger!”
    His face was white with anger.
    “You women are strong! But I will show you and Theresa and your boy of a lover. I will show you all!”
    “Roger, don’t be a child.”
    He tried to grab her again. This time viciously, for he was a man injured. But she moved away.
    “He is no good. He will be unfaithful to you.”
    “If he is unfaithful to me I will see what to do then. But that is my problem.”
    “I am a champion athlete. I have won many medals. Don’t you understand, I love you!”
    “Oh, Roger, please, I must get dressed now.”
    Kraus smiled, lasciviously, and like a boy. “I will sit here while you get dressed. I will sit here and watch.”
    She began to sob. “Please …”
    “Just now you were more friendly.”
    “Yes, but you abuse my friendship.”
    Roger stood up. “You are too cheap for me anyway.”
    He slammed the door after him.
II
    “Why has he got rat traps on