Free Hoodoo Woman (Roxie Mathis Book 3) by Sonya Clark

sat with his back to the bookcase, drew his legs up and rested his hands on his knees. “You know what I hated? Being such a damn coward. Momma wouldn’t stop pushing women at me, wanting me to get married. My brother and his wife were the same. Friends, even. I had people setting me up with women from three counties. Know why?”
    I sat next to him, clutching at the old books like a lifeline. “You’re a catch, Ray Travis.”
    “I’m an idiot. I’m such a good cop, good investigator , I didn’t even realize people did know about us. That’s why my family was putting every available female they thought was suitable in my path. They were afraid I’d do something crazy and marry you.”
    The looks his mother used to give me when I’d run across her were cold enough to burn. “Was it me being a witch they objected to or me being a slut?”
    “Don’t do that,” he said, a granite forcefulness in his tone. “You’re no slut. You never were then and you aren’t now. Don’t let ignorant, judgmental assholes define who you are.” He shook his head, his expression bitter. “One of my biggest regrets is not calling people out for the way they talked about you. It disgusts me that I was such a coward and I’m sorry, Roxanne. I am truly sorry.”
    The books slid from my hands as tears clouded my vision. Something cracked open deep inside, the bricks and mortar I’d used to build walls around my deepest self. The self I thought for so long wasn’t worth anyone’s love, anyone’s respect. Even with Blake, I knew I still held back, not able to feel secure in my feelings for him or his professed feelings for me. Crazy, freak, weirdo, slut, bitch, embarrassment, all the labels and words I gathered close and built into the foundation of those walls, still reverberated years later. I heard them all, shouted, whispered, directly to my face, in the next room when my parents thought I wasn’t listening. An echo reaching for me from the past, trying to drown out anything good. If I were honest with myself I’d have to admit I’d been hearing them a long time. But for the first time something else came through louder, stronger.
    Ray pulled me into his arms, gently removing my glasses. I sank into his embrace, feeling something I didn’t want to name or think about. Instead of thinking about the past or the present, I cried out years’ worth of tears and regrets.
    “I’m sorry, baby.” His lips brushed my hair as he rocked me in his arms. “I’m so sorry.” He was crying too.

Chapter 12
     
    The house smelled pleasantly of sage. I packed away my supplies, satisfied at the work I’d done. The ghost of Britney Parker, or any other ghost for that matter, would not find Ray’s home agreeable to their presence. It wasn’t exactly a ward but close enough to it.
    I found him in the kitchen, spooning food out of a crock pot.  I said, “You sure that Wiccan lady can’t do stuff like this?”
    “I’m sure she can wave sage around with the best of ‘em but there’d be nothing behind it. She practices a religion, not magic.”
    It impressed me that he knew the difference. There was a time when he didn’t. “It’s your home, so you have a certain power within its boundaries. I’ll leave you the sage and the spell to recite as you wave it around.”
    He stopped halfway to the table, bowls in each hand. “What, you think this won’t take?”
    “Stuff like this has to be redone periodically. You don’t clean your house just once.”
    Placing the bowls on the table, he retrieved silverware and two glasses of sweet tea. Bringing them to the table, he set everything down and rubbed his hands down his thighs. “That Haschall business makes me nervous. Last thing I need is that thing getting loose.”
    “He won’t. I’ll go out there and give the old wards a boost.” The idea made my blood cold but Ray was right, it needed doing.
    He pulled a chair out for me and said, “Hope you still like beef