Free Iridescent (Ember 2) by Carol Oates

here—really I am. I’ve never been in a relationship; I’ve never cared about someone the way I care about you. I’m not good at sharing or emotional stuff.” He paused and groaned again, his eyebrows bunching together. “I’m trying.”
    Candra stepped into her pants and paused with her fingers on the fastening at her waist. “You had a thing with her, didn’t you?” Jealously riddled her voice, but she made no effort to hide it. It seemed like a moot point, considering the conversation. It was too much like a vicious cosmic joke to be a weapon created to destroy her boyfriend’s ex-lover…if that thing was her nemesis. “That thing …she’s one of your little harem girls.”
    Sebastian barked out a laugh before bending over to retrieve his boots. “Harem girls? Are you being serious right now?”
    Candra held her breath and nodded stiffly. It didn’t prevent the muffled sound that came from her mouth, betraying her. It sounded distinctly like she’d just disagreed with herself. Wow, I’m totally pathetic. What the hell am I doing?
    “You are ridiculous.”
    “Am I?” she challenged. Yes.
    The muscles in his forearms rippled and flexed as he jerked his laces. “Yes, you are. You’re being paranoid and jealous.”
    “Well, that’s rich coming from the guy who unrepentantly stalked me for months.”
    With one last swing of his arms for momentum, he leapt to his feet. He kept his expression guarded and his jaw so tight, the tendons in his throat protruded from his skin when he swallowed. Candra’s eyes flickered to his hands. He visibly applied extra effort to keep from curling them into fists. Sebastian’s fingers were rigid to the point of looking painful. Candra winced. She wanted to stop, but her wrath was a freight train without brakes.
    She wasn’t angry at Sebastian; she was angry at herself because she would rather he remain forsaken here with her than return to heaven. Who does that? Who would selfishly deny heaven to the one they love? Clearly, she had to be heartless and as much of a walking contradiction as Sebastian.
    “To keep you safe.” His voice was louder than usual, and Candra knew they were back to the edge again. “I thought we were past all this. I want to be with you.”
    “Then stop lying to me. Tell me you don’t think about going home when this is finished, if we live. Isn’t that what you all hope for?” Tears itched at the corners of her eyes. Candra wiped them away with the back of her hand, ignoring the slamming pain of her heart hammering in her chest. Every inch of her wanted him to deny it.
    “You’re impossible…” He waved his hand between them. “ This is impossible.”
    He might as well have punched her in the chest for the pain his words caused. Candra sucked in a breath and froze as fear rattled her torturously. “Us? You want to give up on us?”
    Sebastian’s eyes widened, startled. He brought his hand up and swept it through his hair. “No, of course not.”
    Candra’s shoulders dropped.
    “I mean this conversation.”
    “Tell me who she is.”
    Sebastian lowered his eyes and massaged tension from the back of his neck. It was almost automatic for Candra: she wanted to reach out for him and made herself resist.
    “I’m not hiding anything. I said I would tell you everything, and I will. I’m trying to protect you. I’m trying to give you time to heal. Don’t you see that?”
    “Don’t you see I need this? This will be my fight as much as yours, and I need to know what I’m fighting against.”
    “I didn’t sleep with Lilith. That thing hasn’t crossed my mind for thousands of years. I thought she was gone forever.” His tone softened and strained. Deep frown lines creased his forehead, and his cheeks flushed with color.
    Candra pressed her lips together to stop the tears building in her eyes from overflowing. It took every ounce of will she possessed to drag her eyes away from the brutal anguish in his. She made her way over to