Free Long Time Coming by Vanessa Miller

Kevin's face as he said, "I took my first hit the night of Dynasty's funeral. But it would've happened even if Dynasty had lived. I just had so many images in my mind that I've been trying to forget. I thought drugs could do it for me."
    After that, Kenisha didn't know what to say to Kevin, so she called the kids down and they ate dinner together. Kevin hung around after dinner. He and Jamal played tic-tac-toe, and the girls cheered for the winner no matter whether it was their brother or their uncle. As it got darker outside, Kenisha could tell that Kevin was getting antsy.
    He finally jumped up and said, "Got to go."
    "Why don't you stay here with us tonight?" Kenisha asked.
    "Naw, I got things to do. But thanks for the offer. I'll let you know if I need to crash."
    Kenisha got up and walked Kevin to the door. As they stepped onto the porch, he told her, "And don't worry about nothing but getting better. If you need a babysitter, I can watch the kids."
    Kenisha wanted to tell Kevin that she wouldn't allow him to watch her children because she worried that he might sell them while on a crack high. But after what she'd learned today, she didn't want to cut a deeper wound into his soul. So she simply grabbed his arm and said, "I need you to promise me something."
    "Anything, lil' sis. Name it."
    "I-if I don't survive, I want you to promise me that you'll get off drugs so my kids can be proud of you. And you won't become an embarrassment to them. I don't want them to hide when they see you coming."
    A sad smile played on Kevin's face as he said, "Like we used to do with Cousin Joey."
    Cousin Joey was Martha's first cousin. The entire family had been proud of him after he passed the realtor's exam and became a high-powered realtor making a six-figure income. Then Joey found cocaine. After his business took a nosedive, he downgraded to whatever was available on the street. He had always been a sharp dresser, but once the drugs took over, Joey stopped bathing, and wore rags with holes in his pants and in his shoes. His full-time occupation now consisted of begging for spare change."Yeah, just like Cousin Joey. Don't make my kids ashamed of you like that, okay?"
    "Ain't nothing gon' happen to you, anyway, Kenisha."
    "We don't know the future, so I need you to promise me that you'll do better."
    "Yeah, all right, whatever," he said and then walked away.

    Kenisha had two more radiation treatments before Dr. Lawson scheduled an appointment with her. She nervously sat in his office waiting for the lifeline that she desperately needed him to give her. After keeping her waiting for twenty minutes, Kenisha thought he would at least show up with a smile on his face, but Dr. Lawson looked just as grim as he always did, making Kenisha wonder why she hadn't found herself a happier doctor.
    "Hello, Ms. Smalls," he said as he sat down behind his desk."Sorry to keep you waiting."
    "Not a problem as long as you're bringing good news. If not, I might have to cut you for keeping me waiting so long."She said it in a joking manner, but she said it to test the waters also. If Dr. Lawson laughed, then she could relax, because she would then be convinced that he had good news. But he didn't laugh. At best he gave her a grudging half smile for her attempt at humor. Kenisha's stomach churned, and she felt like she needed to throw up.
    Dr. Lawson put the folder he was carrying down on his desk and opened it."Well, the news isn't all bad," he said as he lifted his head to finally look at her.
    Again Kenisha wished that she had found a more cheerful doctor. Who says "The news isn't all bad?" when they could just as easily say, "I have some news for you. Some of it is good." She couldn't hold her peace any longer. She glared at Dr. Lawson as she said, "You know what? If I'm dying, I'd rather you tell me with a smile on your face. I can't take this gloom-and-doom attitude of yours."
    Clearing his throat, Dr. Lawson said, "Well, Ms. Smalls—"
    "Call me