Free Skulduggery Pleasant: Last Stand of Dead Men by Derek Landy

looked at her for a few more moments. “Hello, Valkyrie,” she said at last, composure quietly regained. “I must admit, I didn’t expect to see you on my doorstep. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
    “I’ve been meaning to stop by. You told me about this place ages ago, mentioned all the horses. It’s beautiful around here.”
    “My refuge,” said China. “I run to my country house to lick my wounds and bathe in self-pity. Is that … is that your car?”
    Valkyrie glanced back at the Oompa-Loompa. “Yep. Isn’t she beautiful?”
    “She is remarkably orange. Would you like to come in?”
    China stepped to one side, and Valkyrie passed through. A marble staircase swept from a marble floor. Dark paintings in Gothic frames hung from the walls. Twisted sculptures sat on bone-white plinths. Through the windows the old stone yard was in full view, with the horses in their stables and, beyond them, the fields and meadows and the forest that bordered the land.
    China led her into a large room with a rich carpet and a floor-to-ceiling bookcase that took up an entire wall. There was an old-fashioned writing desk that Valkyrie barely got a glance at before China closed the lid, and at China’s invitation Valkyrie dutifully sat.
    “Can I get you anything?” China asked. “Tea or coffee?”
    “I’m fine, thank you.”
    China sat in the armchair opposite and crossed her legs. Her feet were bare. “What can I do for you?” she asked, but Valkyrie wasn’t ready to answer that. Not yet.
    “Impressive bookcase,” she said instead. “Not as impressive as the library, but …”
    “But then I have far fewer books,” finished China. “Rebuilding my collection will take time, I’m afraid. Rebuilding it completely will be impossible – some of the works lost were truly one of a kind. Irreplaceable. The truly valuable books, of course, were kept here and not in the library, so that is a blessing, I suppose.”
    “Are you going to reopen?”
    “I think not. As I said, I’ve been feeling very sorry for myself. My library was frequented by many patrons whom I viewed as loyal – and yet, when Eliza Scorn burned it to the ground, not one of them came to my aid. Don’t get me wrong, Valkyrie – I am quite used to being a pariah. I just didn’t think it would happen again quite so soon.”
    “So you’re not joking, then? You really have been spending all this time feeling sorry for yourself?”
    A smile, as sad as it was faint. “Not all this time. I spent a few days recovering from my injuries. The physical wounds healed and left not a bruise. The injury I suffered to my pride, however … well. Once I was back on my feet, I had nothing but revenge in mind, so I began preparing.”
    “And what happened?”
    “Eliza is nothing if not thorough. My holdings in America, in Switzerland, in Italy … all destroyed. My employees, the ones who haven’t died in terribly suspicious accidents, are missing. The mortal men and women who tend to my horses are the only ones left unharmed. I am alone, Valkyrie. Without allies, without friends.”
    “I’m … I’m sorry.”
    “Nonsense. This is exactly how it should be. Nothing less than what I deserve after the things I’ve done.”
    “What about your assistant? The man with the bow tie?”
    “Dead, the poor man. Strangled.”
    “Oh, China …”
    China waved her hand dismissively. “I am allowed to pity myself, Valkyrie. You are not. So tell me how you have been.”
    “You don’t know?”
    “These days I only hear whispers about the impending war between the Sanctuaries – nothing fun. My sources and informants now report to Eliza and her Church of the Faceless. I have been deprived.”
    Valkyrie gave a little shrug. “Well, I’m doing grand. I’m doing OK. So is Skulduggery. We visited an alternate reality, did you hear that?”
    China raised an eyebrow. “When was this?”
    “Just a few months ago, around the beginning of May.”
    “Weren’t you dealing