Free Whispering Wishes by Jennifer Miller

behind your back because your pants are pulled up so fucking high you look like you’re expecting a flood. Oh and here’s a little fashion advice – you’re not supposed to wear suspenders and a belt at the same time, idiot.”
    “And you, Claudia,” I say , turning to a trust officer who sits in the back, “everyone knows that you are the one that keeps stealing food out of people’s lunches. Who the fuck does that anyway? You make more than most people here. Buy your own lunch for God sakes!”
    Claudia gasps and reddens at my words.
    “That’s enough, Aspen,” Lisa says from behind me. Which is a mistake.
    “No Lisa, I don’t think it is. BEWARE everyone! Don’t ever accidentally forget to set your alarm and oversleep because then people will think you thought 'hey you know what? I think I want to lose my job today.’ FUCK YOU, Lisa. FUCK YOU, Steve. Everyone knows that the only reason you even HAVE your position, Lisa, is because you SLEPT with the bank president. So YOU tell ME how much respect YOU have for your job, why don’t you?”
    “How dare you!”
    “NO! How dare you.” At this point, I walk to my desk and start taking my personal items and shove them into my handbag between my words. I open my drawer and see the training manual I made up for all bankers. I couldn’t believe the bank didn’t have one when I started working here and took it upon myself to make one; one of the many examples of how I’ve gone above and beyond for my job because I gave a shit. I take the notebook out of the drawer. “HERE YOU GO BIG BOOBED BRANDI. You’re going to need this because Lord knows you don’t know SHIT about banking.” I throw the binder onto the floor.
    I’m on a roll now, I see Dave appear next to me . “Aspen, you should calm down.”
    “Sorry, I can’t. But Dave, I have nothing but love for you. Thanks for being great to work with. I’ll miss you.”
    “I’ll call you later,” he whispers.
    I walk back out the door to the teller room, and into the main lobby and see everyone still standing there, not knowing quite what to do. Fortunately, there aren’t any clients in here. I’m not sure how they got that lucky. But then, the doors to the bank swing open and Carmen the human resource representative walks into the office. She sees everyone standing there and comes to a stop. Of course, I open my mouth yet again. I’m on a roll.
      “Oh, HI CARMEN!” I yell. “I hear you are here to conduct my exit interview. Well here are some final words for you… actually wait,” I put my fingers to my temples and squint like I’m thinking really hard, “maybe Steve can PENETRATE my brain and tell us all what I’m thinking.” I give him a moment and he just stares at me like he just doesn’t have a clue what to do. “No? Can’t do it? Well here you go, my final words are FUCK YOU!”
    I start to walk out and catch sight of Meg . “Oh hey Meg, I will talk to you later about that date, okay?”
    Poor Meg just nods her head but I see the slight curve of her lips in the corners and the humor in her eyes. “Okay, sounds like a plan,” she says quietly.
    “Oh and by the way Francisco, the coffee you make in the morning tastes like ass. Whoever gets to it first, dumps out the pot you make, and makes a new one. No one has the guts to tell you. Esther – Nick over there is just waiting for you to drop dead or retire soon so he can finally step into your position. Heather, everyone knows that time you were gone for a week was because you got a nose and lip job. I believe there are before and after pictures circulating on email around here somewhere.
    “Anyway, best of luck to all of you. You’re going to need it with such supreme assholes as your leaders!” I give them all double middle fingers and take a bow. “Peace out motherfuckers!” With my head held high, I walk out of the office, slamming the door behind me.

 
     
    Somehow, I find myself at D’Vine after that epic walk out. I