Free Cthulhu Attacks!: Book 1: The Fear by Sean Hoade Page B

knuckles for the Apocalypse, we might as well adjourn this meeting and go pray for a swift and merciful end.”
    The flabbergasted congressman’s mouth moved, but even with his inability to form actual words, everybody knew that the Gentleman From Texas thought that this was indeed the best course of action anyone could possibly take.
    Moving on but reaching the limit of her patience, the President said to the room at large but to Tyson and Nye in particular, “The greatest scientists researching the weirdest contingencies conceivable say it’s impossible. My own top science advisors say it’s impossible. My top spy chief says it’s impossible. But this happened , people. It’s not a bomb, it’s not a Superbloop … essentially we’re saying that Lieutenant Berry is right: It’s Cthulhu. It’s a mythical creature living under the sea in a pulp science fiction story. It’s … Cthulhu .”
    Berry moved to make a slight amendment to her statement, but then realized it was about the worst thing he could do for his future career.
    Tyson stepped in to save him. “No, ma’am, we can’t say it’s Cthulhu—or any other specific cause—as yet,” the scientist said soberly. “I mean no disrespect to you when I say this, Congressman—but we must avoid the logical fallacy of the ‘God of the Gaps.’ That’s a situation in which none of the knowledge we have can explain some physical mystery, thus some kind of supernatural entity must be the missing explanation. Throughout history, whenever any material conundrum has not been explained by the science of the day, theological sorts have always insisted that ‘it must be God who did it.’ The creation of the universe, the sky being blue, even things like humans’ capacity to read. All were originally credited to the God of the Gaps.”
    “That’s what’s so great about this on-the-surface silly Cthulhu idea,” Undersecretary Nye said with his usual warmth so that neither his boss nor any “theological sorts” in the room could take offense, “this—which for lack of a better term I will call the ‘Cthulhu theory’—actually is testable with more information. It’s not a ‘God of the Gaps’ cop-out—it’s something we can look at and accept or reject based on data. It’s falsifiable.”
    Tyson said, “And there’s another way that this doesn’t resemble a mystery force from the ocean depths, something that can be explained away as caused by a God of the Gaps.”
    Nye raised his eyebrows.
    “We know a lot more about what H.P. Lovecraft was talking about with Cthulhu than about any other possibility on the table. Or, I should say, any other impossibility . Lovecraft, even by coincidence, has given us a starting point to conceptualize our predicament. That’s much more than any other bullet-point explanation.”
    “Thank you, Norm and Bob. Now, Lieutenant Berry,” the President said, making the Marine sit up straighter than his already uncomfortable ramrod position next to the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, “the floor is yours. Please brief us on what we should know about … and I can’t believe I’m saying this … about Cthulhu .”
    Facepalms spread around the table.
    Berry had to fight the urge to freeze under the spotlight attention of the President, standing rigidly and marching stiffly to the dais. He took Nye’s spot and cleared his throat. Then cleared it again.
    “Shit or get off the pot, son,” Chairman Adamson barked.
    “R-Right. I mean, yes, sir.” He cleared his throat again and almost flinched at the look Adamson shot him. “Okay. I’m not saying the cause of the Event is actually Cthulhu, who is a fictional creature, of course. But there are some striking, um, similarities between the story by Lovecraft and what happened yesterday near Point Nemo. And the Bloop. That is—”
    “How do you know all this, anyway, Lieutenant?” the President asked.
    “Ma’am! I was always a big reader.” He didn’t do it consciously,