Free Finding an Angel by P. J. Belden Page B

and dad mention my name and stop, just out of sight.
    “We’ve raised a good man, Hank,” my mother says with pride in her voice.
    “That we have. I’m glad him and Hawkeye talked like that. Maybe that’s what’s got Hunter with such a good head on his shoulders. Knowing that his big brother never just had sex with anyone because he had a need to fill. Hawkeye only had one woman. I wish she’d return our calls,” he says sadly.
    “Me too, dear. But at least we know that Hawkeye got the chance to be the big brother he always wanted to be. You Sandean men… always the charmers and lovers,” my mother laughs.
    Heading the rest of the way to my room, I sit on my bed and lean back against the headboard. I wish now that I hadn’t been so impulsive. If I’d thought it through, I’d know that she wasn’t ready, but I couldn’t help myself. It was a night that I want to give her so bad. A ‘normal’ moment she can always look back on and say ‘it was the best night of my life’, but instead I scared her. The thought of scaring her really hurts me.

    Prom… Prom… Hunter’s Prom… With people…
    “Jessa, honey, you need to take a calming breath and count to ten please,” I hear my mother’s voice break through my panic.
    Ten calming breaths later, I focus on the here and now and see my father kneeling in front of me and my mother at my side, but Hunter is gone.
    “Where’s Hunter?”
    “He felt bad for scaring you and said not to worry about Prom that you can all stay here…”
    “Where is he?” My voice more panicked.
    “He headed home. He’s not…”
    Moving around my parents, I yell over my shoulder. “I’ve got to talk to him.”
    They say nothing further and I’m crossing that barrier into unsafe territory, but Hunter is worth any risk. He’s worth everything to me. I’d do anything for him.
    Knocking on the door a bit harder than I intend, I wait for him to answer. I’m a bit disheartened when Mrs. Sandean answers.
    “Oh, uh, I need to speak to Hunter please, Ma’am,” I stumble through my words.
    “He’s in his room dear,” she says with a soft smile on her face.
    Instead of telling me she’d go get him, she directs me to his room. Swallowing hard, I take my first step into the Sandean’s house and start shaking.
    “It’s okay dear. This is your home too. Hunter lives here and he loves you, which means this is your home too because you hold his heart,” she whispers softly keeping the much needed space between us.
    Nodding my head, I swallow again. Hunter. I need to see Hunter and I’ll feel okay again. I’ll feel whole. Following her directions, I knock on his door.
    “Come in,” he says, almost sounding sad and my heart breaks more.
    Taking a deep breath, I open the door and enter his room. His eyes are closed and his head rests against a headboard. What really draws my attention is my paintings that hang around his room. He’s kept them all. My heart swells three times bigger than my body allows and I feel the ache of it as if it’s physically happening.
    “Hunter,” my voice a soft whisper.
    His head flies up and his eyes open wide. “You’re here, in my house. You crossed that line,” he says shocked.
    Closing the door back, I walk further into the room. Before I can stop them tears fall down my cheeks.
    “I’m so sorry Hunter. I let you down and now… now I hurt you because of…”
    Hunter is off his bed and wrapping me in his arms. Sighing contently, this is where I love being. In his arms, held close to his chest where I can hear his heart beat steadily beneath my ear.
    “You didn’t hurt me, Angel. I thought I hurt you,” he laughs. “We really are a pair aren’t we? Always afraid of hurting the other.”
    Pulling back, I look up into his eyes. “Why are you afraid of hurting me?”
    “I can’t lose you.” He walks me backwards, and then turns me around to face the mirrored closet doors. “You are so beautiful, Angel, you take my breath away.