Free Saved by the Alpha (Paranormal BBW Erotic Romance, Alpha Wolf Mate) by Haley Nix Page B

just wanted to
go home and get some sleep.
    “Stay out with us!” they said. “The night’s just
getting started!”
    But I wasn’t in the mood, not after what I’d just
seen. I wanted to be alone. I didn’t even want to talk about it, to give them
all the details, to analyze and re-analyze it. There was nothing to analyze;
everything was plain as day. Jason wasn’t into me anymore . Talking about
it would only increase the hurt. So I said goodbye and left the bar, praying
that the subway trains were running on time. I just wanted to be home, warm and
asleep in my own bed. I’d deal with all this baggage tomorrow.
     
    ***
     
    Walking out of the bar I met a complete and utter
downpour. Cold rain fell in sheets, harder and faster than before. I thought momentarily
about hailing a cab, but the ride to Brooklyn would cost almost fifty dollars.
I certainly didn’t have that kind of money to spare. Hopefully, there would be
a train waiting in the station.
    The subway schedule was always weird going into the
weekends, especially after midnight. It was hit or miss. Upon entering the
station, you might be met with a train that was three minutes away or one that
was thirty minutes from the stop. I told myself that if the train were over
twenty minutes away I’d suck it up and hail a cab. Any wait shorter than that I
could handle.
    When I went underground there were a lot of people
around, mostly young people like me heading home from bars or traveling to a
different bar where they would continue their Friday night. It was crowded,
meaning I might not find a spot to sit on the train, but I was happy that there
were people around. It isn’t that I needed company or anything, if that were
the case I would have stayed with my friends, but I could feel myself being
watched again.
    I looked around, trying to do so surreptitiously,
casually, not wanting to draw any attention. I saw a few people looking in my
direction. Occasionally a coincidental glance occurred in which I briefly
locked eyes with strangers. But none of these people seemed suspicious.
    Taking a deep breath, I tried to calm myself down. It’s
all in your head , I told myself. No one is watching you; you’re just
paranoid . There was only a five minute wait for the train, but between the
ride and the walk from the station to the apartment, it would be over an hour
before I got home. I still had a long night ahead of me.
    I waited in the station, calmed down now that I
realized the apparent threat wasn’t a real one. The feeling of being watched dissipated
and my heart rate decreased back to normal. I was breathing easily. Only two
more minutes until my train would be here.
    And once I was on the train, I started to feel even
better. With an hour long ride ahead, I had some time to think about things.
Jason had hurt me tonight, but now that I knew the truth, I just needed to
focus on getting over him.
    The thing I just couldn’t get my mind off of was the
woman he had been with. I hated thinking that she was judging me. The fact that
she was so damn skinny was what sent me over the edge. Jason had told me I was
sexy, but was he lying? That girl and I certainly didn’t fit the same body
type. Had he just been sleeping with me until someone better, someone skinnier came along?
    That was the thought that crushed me. That I had
been used, that he’d always considered me not good enough. This wasn’t the
first time something like this had happened to me. The dreaded thought that all
men were like this entered my mind, that I was doomed to be cheated on, that I
was unappealing to men.
    I knew that wasn’t true. There must be some men out
there who appreciated a curvy girl, I thought to myself. But I was feeling
cynical, and I knew it would be a long time before I could trust a man again. I
didn’t know how long it would take for me to feel like opening myself up to
that type of rejection. The more I thought about it, the sadder I got. I hated
feeling like this,