I've got a bomb !”
And that said, Slip suddenly whipped off his swimming shorts, revealing to the shock of some and the dismay of many, nothing resembling a bomb whatsoever.
“ Slip ,” sighed Crinkle.
“ What ?”
“ That's not a bomb .”
12.
Upon finishing his soggy burger, Pete felt like a new man, and remembering about Pierre and the resistance, decided it was high time he set abo ut finding them. He was convinced that from there on it would be but a small hop, skip and jump to saving the planet Earth from the Co-leen threat.
“ Hey you ,” Pete beckoned a guy working at a bar.
“ How do I find Pierre ?” he asked, whispering “ Pierre ” as if the very word might break something.
“ You'll want the underground mate ,” answered the barman.
“ Yeah ,” he said winking , “ the underground .”
“ Right ,” replied the barman, wondering whether he should serve this guy if he was going to order a drink.
“ And where, pray tell, would I find the underground ?” he whispered dramatically , making certain he would not be overheard, even though the bar was completely empty.
“ Underground ,” replied the barman.
“ Oh it's like that is it ,” he said , reaching for his wallet , “ give me a drink .”
The barman hesita ted, but finally deciding it a much safer course of action to simply appease this man, then poured Pete a drink.
“ Thanks Mac ,” said Pete, who then surreptitiously slipped the barman a twenty pound note.
“ Keep the change ,” he added with a n over-embellished wink.
The barman looked down at the little piece of paper that he had just been handed , and decided to call security. Before he could do this however, he noticed that Pete was winking at him again, and now trying to nudge him over the bar. The difficulty o f this maneuver , combined with hi s evident enthusiasm to do it, was enough to make him reconsider, and after a moment ’ s deliberation, he concluded that it would probably be a great deal safer to simply accept the piece of paper , along with the fact that he was now called Mac.
“ Thanks ,” said the barman, taking the twenty pound note.
“ Right, down to business ,” Pete went on conspiratorially , “ where do I find the underground ?”
“ Underground ,” repeated the barman, who was becoming increasingly frightened by Pete and his endlessly repeating question .
“ Yes ,” he said, becoming a little irritated now , “ the underground ,” he repeated, stressing every syllable in “ underground ” as if they were somehow t e r r ibly important.
“ Underground ,” said the barman again, who was now on the verge of panic and looking for ways to escape.
“ Now look Mac ,” he replied heatedly , “ I gave you twenty right ?”
“ Okay ,” said the barman in a small voice, confused as to what twenty things he had supposedly received from this madman.
“ So you owe me, right ?”
“ Yeah , course ,” answered the barman in a state of panic , “ another drink ?”
The barman then made a wild snatch at a bottle, fearing that if he took his eyes from Pete's, the madman would surely attack. The bottle however, resisted the snatch, and decided instead to fall from the bar and shatter on the floor.
“ Hey cool it man, no need to get heavy ,” said Pete, mistaking the barman's fumble for an act of aggression.
“ Just tell me where to find the underground ?” he asked again, wanting to get away from this unstable barman as quickly as possibly.
“ Underground !” s creamed the barman, who , fearin g for his life, then grab bed a shard of broken bottle and brandished it threateningly at Pete.
“ Yeah the underground !” he yelled back, also grabbing a shard of glass with which to defend himself.
Now the two men stood facing each other as a silence fell over the bar. Less than three feet separated them as they weighed each other over. Their gazes never deviating from the