Free Renegade T.M. by Bernard Langley

realized .
    “ If God didn’t exist, it would be necessary to invent him ,” he declared simply, as though he had just completed a free paper Su doku puzzle.
     
    It should be noted that Pete's barrage of insight went on for quite a good while, whereas my ability to record these insights somewhat floundered after he declared quite confidently that “ vegetable ping happy ” . Nevertheless, I am in a position to report that by the time he had r eached the end of the slide, Pete had become pure energy. He emerged a perfect sphere of white light, floating serenely a couple of feet off the ground; and with complete understanding of life, the universe and everythin g, those who gazed on him found an instant inner peace.
     
    “ Right ,” he began mightily , contemplating as to whether he should create a trans-warp gate to travel back to the birth of time, or rather invent some kind of machine that turned water into wine.
    “ Hang on ,” he realized suddenly, disappearing and then reappearing at the same burger bar he had only recently left , “ now I'll get my burger ! ”
    “ Give me a burger !” he boomed, doing his best impression of how he imagined God would demand a burger.
     
    At this, the burger bar employee, who had belittled him but moments before , fell to his knees and averted his eyes.
     
    “ This is great ,” thought Pete.
    “ Give me a burger !” h e boomed again, turning a few of the burgers to sand and causing the ground to quake a little.
    “ Yes, yes anything ,” the employee waile d, holding out a burger for him with a shaking hand.
    “ Finally, this is going to be the business ,” thought Pete , as he made the burger float into him.
    “ What? !” he cried aghast, as the burger made its way steadily into the middle of his ball of light, and remained floating there fully intact.
    “ This is ridiculous ! ” said Pete, who was now being laughed at by the very employee who had thought him a god just a moment ago.
    “ Enough is enough ,” he stated, who vanishing, then reappeared at the slide of devolution.
    “ Fancied a burger huh ?” guessed the guy in charge of the slide of devolution.
    “ See it everyday ,” he added knowingly, as Pete launched himself down the slide.
    “ E equals mc squared ,” he began , “ where E is energy, m is mass, and c is, er , custard ?” he ventured in the midst of his rapid devolution , “and why is it squared, and not circled, or triangled? Shapist physicists! ”
    “ I think therefore ,” he paused to gather his thoughts , " I think therefore ,” he repeated , desperately trying to discover exactly what he thought he thought.
    “ Oh I don't know what I think anymore !” h e declared with certainty, for perhaps the first time that day, as he tumbled out from the slide, returned to normal Pete-shaped form again.
    “ Ah well, not a complete loss ,” he said to himself, who reaching into his inside pocket, retrieved a water-drenched burger, and opening his mouth, bit deeply into it, with a relish that some might say was godlike.
    ***
    “ Yeeeaaaaaaaaa h !! !” y elled Fendel, who for the last few cycles, had been sliding down the slide of infinity.

11.
     
    “ Okay Crinks ,” began Slip , “ let's find this Pierre guy .”
    “ Sure thing hon', which way ?”
    “ This way ,” he replied , gesturing at a crowd that was beginning to form , “let's see what's going on over there .”
     
    Slip and Crinkle made their way into the crowd that was getting bigger every moment. Pushing and shoving their way through, they were somewhat startled to find a host of Co-leen at the centre of it all, who were preparing to address the crowd.
     
    “ Slip ,” began Crinkle in a hushed voice , “ those are.. .”
    “ I know babes ,” he int e r r upted , “ just don't draw any attention .”
    “ People of Krassis ,” began the Co-leen , “ we come with an important announcement. We have reason to believe that the so called Renegade team, who