Free Alice 1 by Ernest Kinnie

spook groups around
Berkeley. They’ll be a lot of fun and I might even learn something.
There are a few meetings this evening posted on the bulletin
boards. How about the Hairy Women of Apollo? Women who call
themselves that can’t be all bad.
    I came early to the meeting, held in one of the
women’s dorms, and watched the Hairy Women arrive, mostly lesbian.
They started with a chant accompanied by an Irish harp. Beautiful
harp, ugly chant. Then to business. Two women, one fat, one skinny,
stood up and reached for the sky, bescreeching and beseeching
Phoebus Apollo to descend upon them. Good Lord, what would they do
with Apollo? Aphrodite maybe, but Apollo? Whatever. Wish I could
materialize a big horny Apollo, and I mean BIG, but sadly I cannot.
But I can do the next best.
    So there they are, two women in the center of
the room, arms raised, eyes closed, bescreeching and beseeching. My
Shadow finger rapidly tapped the clit of the fat one. Her eyes flew
open
    and she screamed. Good Lord she’s sensitive.
Wasn’t she begging Apollo to descend upon her?
    After she apologized and everything quieted
down, they bescreeched and beseeched some more. This time I tapped
the G-spot of the skinny one. She dropped to the floor and spread
her legs as wide as they could go, and her hips began to jerk. Her
eyes rolled back in her head as I tapped faster and faster. She
screamed “ Apollo ” twice and fainted. Phoebus Apollo was
pleased.
    They had a lively discussion the rest of the
evening about the profound spiritual, ontological and metaphysical
significance of Apollo’s visit. I meekly suggested some of the
other ladies might also like to experience Apollo’s power, but
there were no takers. How sad. Imagine an all night orgy with a
God. I’d go for it, but Apollo’s Hairy Women are a little shy.
    Oh my, oh my, what loud choruses of yells and
screams of shock and outrage from some of you super-sensitive,
super-refined, super-prissy ladies and gentlemen. How could I be so
rude, so crude. A shocked and angry woman even called me
uncouth!
    Who you trying to kid?
    I know what you do to yourself when no one’s
around.
    And I got plenty of couth lady.
    ____________________
    In the next week I passed the test for Psych.
156, and started reading the textbook for 281. There’s an awful lot
of padding in the first and second year textbooks. What a waste to
spend two whole years reading them. Beginning Neuroanatomy 281 is
an exception. Not much padding. Slow reading. Lots to memorize.
     

CHAPTER 19
    No more sour puss. Arlene so enjoys mothering me
and said I needed a new wardrobe. I told her that if I’m careful,
by January I can begin to buy new clothes. My clothes are a bit
shabby, but her’s are old maid ugly. She has a nice figure, but
nobody would guess. I thought she was in her 40’s. Nope, early
30’s. I have a lot of work to do.
    If the inheritance check is sent Special
Delivery, she’ll get it tomorrow.
    ____________________
    I think I’ll look on the bulletin boards for
other psychic groups. The Hairy Women were a lot of fun. I’m pretty
sure the real psychics, if they’re around, do not advertize but I
might bump into a few slumming or looking for new recruits.
    Ashara came skipping over while I was having
mid-morning coffee at the Bear’s Lair. Smacked a piece of paper on
the table, grabbed both donuts, and ran.
    SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE REVEALED
    Yes, you have all read promises like that.
Our group is different. We know no secrets of the universe. Humans
are far too limited to know them. We explore the frontiers of human
abilities. If you would like to join the adventure come to Soder
Hall, room 121 on the evening of Dec. 4th at 7pm.
    Well at least they’re humble and I have
nothing else to do this evening.
    ____________________
    Soder Hall is on the wrong side of campus, not
where the elite live. As usual I got there a little early and
watched the crowd come in. Not much of a crowd. Humility doesn’t
sell in