Free On the Far Side of Darkness by R. C. Graham

couldn’t live with the hunger, with the monster always waiting to break out, with being a monster. She destroyed herself rather than carry on the endless battle.
    I nearly joined her I was so devastated. My grief, my guilt was such that I hid in the earth for a decade.
    Diane raises her head to look at me. “I’d never hurt you, Georges. Not the way she did. Whoever she was.” She’s drawn the wrong conclusion from my actions.
    “She didn’t hurt me,” is my correction. “I hurt her. Badly. She never recovered. I’m toxic, Diane. A dangerous drug. An occasional taste is enjoyable. Constant exposure will be fatal.”
    Her face falls to my chest and I feel tears bead on it. “I don’t believe you,” she sobs, “and I’m willing to take that chance.”
    The moment has come . I place my thumb on her forehead and guide her head back gently. When her eyes meat mine I exert my power. Once again I have to struggle for a moment before her face goes slack and she opens to my will.
    “I can’t stay, Diane,” I tell her. “I wouldn’t be good for you. We have it hot, heavy and sweet. But it can’t last. I’ll go. You’ll remember our time with fondness and move on.”
    I release her mind. The sweet woman’s eyes refocus, and glisten with moisture. She replaces her head on my shoulder and clasps me very hard. She believes she’s made a decision, is unhappy with it but is going to enjoy what time have left.
    How I hate having to manipulate her like that, but all the other choices would have far, far worse consequences.
    The two of us cuddle for a while, saying nothing, both of us hurting and happy. Soon though, it’s time for me to leave. I roll from the rumpled sheets and begin to dress. She sits at the edge of the bed and watches, still silent, still sad.
    When done, I sit next to her and wrap my arms around her.
    Diane clings and sniffles. “I wish that I could feel you inside me,” she states.
    “I can’t. You know that,” I tell her.
    Diane sighs and hugs me hard. “I know, that medical condition. But it doesn’t keep me from wanting.” She pulls away suddenly and smiles, a weak gesture underlined with pain. “I’ll see you again?”
    “Yes. You warm me, beautiful woman.” Leaning over I kiss her cheek, rise and leave the apartment. The sound of her crying reaches me before I open the front door. It wrenches at my unbeating heart.
    I walk back to my haven with my mind whirling. I’m caught in a dilemma I’d thought never to have happen again. I am so uncertain what my actions should be.
    You know what to do, I inform myself. End it. Soon. My head nods in agreement. If I stay too much longer, I’ll destroy her one way or another. Next time is goodbye.
    Dawn is tinting the horizon as I enter my haven. I shed my clothes, go to the cellar and sink into the ground. The nothingness of the dark is something I badly need now.
     
    * * * *
     
    I enter my sophomore class two nights later. There’s a surprise waiting for me. Ms. Richardson has arrived on time for once.
    But her face holds an expression of triumph. She’s only here to revel in a victory. As I place my briefcase on my desk, she stands and stalks towards me with that imperious stride of hers. The failing paper I had given her is in her right hand. She thrusts it at me.
    “I think you’ve got something to do, prof,” she gloats.
    I turn to face her and put a bright smile on my face. “You’re quite right, Mademoiselle Richardson.” Opening my briefcase I pull my marking pen from it, turn and retrieve Mandy’s paper from her hand. With a deft stroke I mark a minus after the F and return the essay to her.
    Mandy’s jaw drops and her eyes stare in astonishment. She was so certain she had won. Her face hardens then. An almost vampiric fury flames in her eyes. Like many people with power, she can’t stand when that power doesn’t work. She snarls, turns and storms from the classroom. The Court follows her with Christy giving me yet