Free The Big Blueberry Barf-Off! by R.L. Stine Page B

for me.
    Good kid, Belzer.
    I stopped when I saw the crowd of kids on the grass. They were gathered around the statue of I. B. Rotten. What were they doing there?
    I. B. Rotten was the guy who started this school a hundred years ago. Guess who he named it after?
    Old I. B. was my kind of guy: a zillionaire. He made his money by owning grocery stores all over the U.S., called Rotten Food Shoppes.
    The statue of I. B. Rotten stands on a pedestal in the center of the Great Lawn. He has a very long nose that looks like an animal snout. He has tiny, round eyes and short, furry hair.
    He looks a lot like an anteater wearing a suit. But The Rotten School Student Guidebook says on page three that he was human.
    Last spring, someone who I won’t name—Feenman—snuck out one night and painted the long nose on the statue bright red.
    Feenman is really into painting things red. It’s kind of his hobby.
    Anyway, they tried for months, but no one could get the paint off the statue. So now it looks like I. B. Rotten always has a very bad cold.
    Why were all the kids huddling around the statue this morning? I saw Feenman and Crench in the crowd. I hurried over to them.
    â€œWhat’s up? What’s all the excitement?”

Chapter 4
M Y A RCHENEMY
    Crench didn’t say a word. He just pointed.
    I let out a groan when I saw the kid in the center of the crowd. That spoiled rich kid, Sherman Oaks. My archenemy.
    He had a big, toothy grin on his face. He was holding up a glowing object, waving it around to the crowd.
    Sherman lives in the dorm across from Rotten House, the dorm we all hate. I can’t even say the name of his dorm. When I say it, my teeth curl, my nose twitches, and my lips swell up like salamis.
    It’s called…It’s called…(deep breath, Bernie)…NYCE House.
    What kind of kid would want to live in a dorm called Nyce House?
    More kids joined the crowd around Sherman. Kids were oohing and aahing .

    Something glowed like gold on Sherman’s wrist. What was he showing off this time?
    I started to push my way through the crowd. But I stopped when I saw April-May June standing next to Sherman. She was holding on to his arm, smiling at him.
    April-May June. The hottest, coolest girl in the whole fourth grade. April-May has wavy blond hair,shiny blue eyes, and a smile almost as dazzling as mine. The girl is totally crazy nuts about me. Only she doesn’t know it yet.

    I elbowed some gawking fifth graders aside and stepped up to Sherman. “What is that on your wrist?” I asked. “Some kind of skin rash? Have you tried calamine lotion?”
    Sherman turned and flashed me his smug, sixty-five-tooth smile. “It’s my new digital watch, Bernie,” he said. He shoved it in front of my face. The sunlight beamed off the gold band, so bright it hurt my eyes.
    â€œIt has forty-two different functions,” Sherman said. “And it cost five hundred dollars. My parentssent it to me because they think they can buy my love with fancy electronics.”

    My mouth dropped open. Forty-two functions?
    April-May squeezed Sherman’s arm. “Show him what it can do, Shermy.”
    Shermy??
    MY girlfriend (only she didn’t know it yet) was calling Sherman Oaks Shermy?
    Sherman swung the watch up so everyone could see it.

    Give me a break. Why didn’t they stop all that oohing and ahhing ?
    â€œWell, it’s a camera, of course,” Sherman said. “And a video player. A phone. A palm pilot. An MP3 player. A printer. A tiny computer. Here’s the keyboard.”
    He pushed a button, and a computer keyboard slid out. Then he pushed another button, and a piano keyboard appeared.

    â€œIt has a small George Foreman grill on it,” Sherman announced. He opened the lid and showed it to everyone.

    I turned to Crench. “It’s got to weigh two hundred pounds,” I snickered. “He’ll sprain his wrist.”

    That was Crench