Free The Nanny by Melissa Nathan Page A

help?”
    There was a long pause. She could feel the entire family staring at her back. The pause continued. She could hear someone breathing at the other end of the phone.
    â€œThe Fitzgerald residence, may I help?” she repeated.
    Another pause. She turned away from the family a bit more.
    â€œOr not?” she whispered pointedly.
    â€œHello,” came a warm male voice.
    â€œCan I help?” she repeated.
    â€œHelp who?” came the grinning voice. “You’re the one who sounds like you’ve got a poker up your arse.”
    Jo’s body underwent a thermal flush.
    â€œThank you,” she said. “To whom would you like to speak?”
    â€œDick. Is…of whom I would like to speak. To.”
    Jo tried to hand the phone to Dick as if it was a hot bomb, but Dick was having none of it. He shouted into the mouthpiece, “Who the hell is disturbing my Sunday tea?” Jo took a deep breath, gritted her teeth, and turned her back again.
    â€œWho shall I say is calling?”
    There was a pause.
    â€œYou shall say Josh is calling.”
    â€œAnd what’s it about?” yelled Dick across the kitchen.
    This must be a test, she decided. No wonder their nannies don’t last long .
    â€œWill he know what it’s concerning?” Jo said into the phone.
    â€œNo,” said the voice. “I don’t even know what it’s about yet,” it said. “Let’s just live dangerously and see what happens, shall we?”
    Jo wondered how on earth she had become a figure of fun for someone who hadn’t even met her yet. She felt a stab of longing for home and yearned for the chance to be the one mercilessly ridiculing others and not the other way round. Was she ridiculous to the Fitzgeralds? Were they all laughing at her? She turned to face them. They were all grinning, and Dick was stuffing his face with salad. She felt a sudden need to be back in her neighborhood pub with Shaun, getting her usual without asking. She handed the phone to Dick and, imagining Shaun, Sheila, and James were listening, found a spark of her former self and said, “It’s Josh. He doesn’t have a strategy for the conversation, but is willing to live dangerously if you are.”
    The Fitzgeralds burst into happy laughter, and all tried to grab the phone.
    â€œFirstborn!” shouted Dick into the phone. He held the phone out to his children, who all yelled their greetings.
    Jo pretended not to hear Dick repeatedly say into the phone, “Did she? Did she?” punctuated by hearty laughter.
    She contented herself with the knowledge that whatever Josh was saying about her was clearly puerile, and, anyway, she felt the same about him times infinity, with knobs on.
    Josh, via the telephone, was handed round to every child, and she had to hear every single one laugh at something he said, then say, “No, she’s really nice,” until she wanted to scream.
    â€œHe called you Mary Poppins,” explained Tallulah eventually. “And did an impersonation of your voice on the phone.”
    Jo was so impressed that a four-year-old knew what the word “impersonation” meant that she hardly had time to be mortally offended.
    Zak and Toby laughed.
    â€œDon’t worry,” Cassandra whispered. “I love Mary Poppins.”
    Jo smiled at Cassandra. “Thank you,” she said.
    â€œIt’s alright,” shrugged Cassandra. “Josh is just”—she looked at her brothers—“a boy.”
    As the boys cheered, Jo, Cassandra, and Tallulah all shared a moment of mutual understanding.
    Before tea was over, Vanessa arrived home. She wandered into the kitchen, put various shopping bags on the floor, and amid the screamed questions, “Did you get me anything?” “What’s in the blue bag?” “Why’s your hair a different color?” assessed the situation fairly accurately.
    Hands on hips, she stared at