Free Wushu Were Here by Jon Scieszka Page A

Then…

    â€œDo you suffer from uncontrollable drooling? Well, now there’s help.”
    â€œOh, man,” I said.
    â€œThere’s always a commercial just at the exciting part.”

    â€œIs the good guy really dead?” Anna asked.
    â€œNah,” Fred said. “He’s the hero. They’d never kill the hero in the first five minutes.”
    Fred jumped up into his own kung fu stance. “That guy playing Li Shimin is so cool,” he said. “He’s got great wushu.” Fred did a wild kick, knocking over the lamp on my desk.
    â€œâ€˜Wushu?’ What’s that?” Anna asked.
    Fred ignored Anna and chopped at the air. “I’d love to try out some wushu on my older brother, Mike. WAAAAYAAAAAH. ”
    â€œWhat is wushu?” Anna asked again.
    â€œYou know,” Sam said, “kung fu isn’t about attacking your enemies; it’s about using your enemy’s own energy against them.”
    Sam had his nose in a history book. As usual, he was more than happy to share the information.
    Fred was about to attempt a roundhouse kick when his watch began beeping loudly.
    â€œI wish I could figure out how to turn this thing off,” Fred said. He tried pushing one button. Then another. And another. Finally, the watch was quiet.
    â€œWould someone please tell me what wushu is?” Anna cried.
    I would have answered her question…if driving her crazy weren’t so much fun. Besides I had my own questions.
    â€œHey, Sam,” I said. “Did thirteen monks really take on a whole army? Or did they make that up for the movie?”
    Sam flipped through the pages of the history book. “Li Shimin is in here, but it doesn’t say anything about the thirteen monks.”
    â€œHey,” I said, “I bet it’s in The Book .” I headed toward “the safe” to get it.

    Sam looked up, panicked. “Joe,” he said. “Don’t even think about it. You know what’ll happen. We’ll warp, get in trouble, and the next thing you know someone will be trying to chop our heads off.”
    He had a point. The Book had gotten us into a few scrapes in the past. I got it as a birthday present from my uncle Joe on my tenth birthday. It’s basically a time machine—it can transport us to any place and time in history. While that sounds really cool, there is one problem: Whenever we travel through time, The Book has a habit of disappearing. And without it, there is no way to get back home. But I really wanted to know about those monks. I opened the safe and gasped.
    â€œWhat?” Fred and Sam asked at the same time.
    â€œ The Book —it’s gone!” I cried.
    â€œWushu,” Anna said. “Literally translated, wu means ‘martial’ and shu means ‘art.’ In other words, the study of the art of fighting.”

    Fred, Sam, and I looked over to see Anna…reading from The Book .
    Sam froze.
    â€œHey,” I said. “Where’d you get that?”
    â€œFrom that cardboard box you keep it in,” Anna said.
    â€œThe safe!” I cried.
    â€œThat’s supposed to be a safe?” Anna said.
    I was about to throttle her, when Fred interrupted.
    â€œDoes it say anything about the monks?” he asked.
    Anna flipped the page and pointed. “Oh, look. That thing with the thirteen monks really did happen. They broke Li Shimin out of prison. Wang was—”
    â€œThat’s my book!” I yelled.
    â€œI’m just looking,” Anna said.
    Clearly her little-sister brain was not grasping what I was saying. Time for action. I tried to yank The Book out of her hands.
    â€œHey!” Anna cried, holding on tightly.
    â€œI don’t go digging through your things,” I said. “How’d you like it if I raided your diary?”
    â€œThat’s different,” Anna said.
    â€œHey…uh…guys,” a small voice said. It was Sam.