Free Man from Half Moon Bay by Iris Johansen

you? I couldn’t live with myself if I did that, Jordan.”
    “You may not live at all if you—” He broke off, trying to get hold of himself, trying to subdue the terror rising within him. “Stop being so damn brave. Let me
help
you.”
    “I’m not brave,” she whispered. “I’m scared to death. I watched his face in that courtroom for four solid weeks. He’s not sane, Jordan.”
    He moved instantly to take advantage of any hint of weakness. “Then he probably won’t do what those nice logical policemen think he will. How can they protect you if they don’t know which way he’ll jump?”
    She moistened her dry lips with her tongue. “Please, I’m frightened enough as it is. And I
will
do this, Jordan.”
    “Sara, dammit, you can’t …” He trailed off. It was no use. No matter what he said, he could see he wasn’t going to be able to change her mind. “Tell me what I can do. Tell me how I can keep you alive.”
    “You can’t do anything. Stay out of it and let the police handle it.” She met his gaze. “I don’t want you to come near me for the next few days.”
    He stared at her, feeling the pain and panic swelling within him like a tidal wave. “I don’t know if I can do that. This is all crazy, Sara.”
    “Sometimes that’s the way life is. Crazy and scary and …” She drew a shaky breath and forced herself to smile. “I think you’d better leave now. Lieutenant Blaise is going to be here in another fifteen minutes to discuss the surveillance.”
    “I’ll stay and talk to the bastard.”
    “No,” she said sharply. “You’re out of this. This is my business and I’m the one who’s going to take care of it.”
    “The hell I will. I’ll—” He stopped as he saw thewariness in her face. She hadn’t looked at him like this since that first night. He was pushing her, destroying the fledgling trust he’d nurtured so carefully. Why had this crisis had to come so soon? One false step and he could blow everything he had built between them. It was a catch-22 that made his frustration and fear escalate to new heights. His voice was hoarse. “Look, Sara, I can’t take this. I can’t
stand
the thought of your being hurt.”
    “You have to stand it,” she said quietly. “Just as I do. If you want to help me, you’ll go now.”
    He stood looking at her for a long moment and then turned and headed for the front door. “I do want to help you. I’ve
got
to help you.” He opened the door and glanced back over his shoulder. “Nothing in the whole damn world is more important to me than keeping you alive. Nothing, Sara.”
    The door shut behind him with a forcefulness that held a hint of violence.
    Sara sank down on the couch, her arms folded across her chest, hugging herself. She felt suddenly cold, isolated, now that Jordan had left. Lord, she hadn’t wanted to send him away. The temptation to go into his arms and let him hold her, protect her, had been nearly overpowering. She knew how strong Jordan was both physically and mentally, and it would have been wonderful to be able to lean on him when she was so frightened.
    But she couldn’t lean on him if it meant putting him in danger. The very idea terrified hereven more than facing Kemp alone. No, there was no way she could have let Jordan stay and give her the comfort she wanted so desperately.
    A knock sounded on the door. Lieutenant Blaise, she thought numbly. She would have to ask him to identify himself before she opened the door. He had a key to the lift, but told her not to open the door unless she was certain she knew who was on the other side. She got up from the couch and moved swiftly across the room toward the front door.
    “Marambas called again,” Cam said as soon as Jordan walked into the suite. “He said to tell you he’d contacted his informant in the office of the New York police and there was something weird going on with the surveillance crew that was shadowing Kemp. It seems they intentionally distracted