Free Not QUITE the Classics by Colin Mochrie

the throne from the King and defeat his army because—you just had a feeling ?”
    â€œI am the Oracle! My prognostications have changed all that we know!” The old woman sounded testy.
    â€œWill I live through this?” Tyro asked hopefully.
    â€œI don’t know.”
    â€œWill we succeed today?”
    â€œThe immediate future is cloudy.”
    â€œWhat’s my favorite color?”
    â€œBlue.”
    â€œLucky guess.”
    â€œThe Oracle has correctly foretold Tyro’s favorite color!” Big Brother shouted triumphantly. The rebels cheered.
    â€œThat doesn’t mean anything!” cried Tyro. He turned back to the Oracle. “How accurate are your feelings? What percentage would you say?”
    â€œThat is not important now, young Tyro. You have brought us here. As I have foretold. You have completed the first of your tasks.”
    â€œMy tasks ? Tasks, as in more than one? What are they?”
    â€œWhat is known to you is known to me, but what is known to me has yet to be known to you,” she croaked.
    â€œSo, what you are saying is, you don’t know anything.”
    Madwyn raised her delicate eyebrows. “Is there something wrong, Tyro? Are you having second thoughts about securing the throne for me?”
    â€œNo,” said Tyro quickly. “Just going over my tasks.” He turned to the rebel army and in his best military style shouted, “Let’s move out!”
    Tyro led the rebel group into the mouth of the tunnel. It had a dank odor (as one would expect from a tunnel), but the phosphorus that lined its walls provided enough light to see by. Tyro was thinking back to the last time he had been here. He’d played in that nook there, had hidden by this cranny here, had stowed his little treasure of bobbins and sticks in that hole way up there. As he looked around he was overcome by a wave of nostalgia. Why do we have to grow up? he wondered. As he followed a smooth, familiar curve in the tunnel, he saw a huge shadow about five hundred feet ahead.
    Tyro raised his hand to stop the crowd behind him. He whispered loudly in a rising panic: “I remember why this tunnel isn’t used anymore.”
    â€œWhat is it, friend?” asked Big Brother.
    â€œA Twavverhackle!”
    The entire group took a giant involuntary step back. The Twavverhackle was the most fearsome creature in Geologa. The very name would put misbehaving children on the straight and narrow, and frustrated parents invoked its fearsomeness only rarely. It scared them too.
    Hundreds of Twavverhackles had roamed the countryside in days gone by, but they had all mysteriously disappeared about twenty years ago. Since they were impossible to kill, it was thought that they had become extinct due to some strange evolutionary weakness. Unfortunately, no one had told the Twavverhackle who was now blocking their path. This one looked extremely lively and appeared to be a prime example of the species. It towered sixty feet high and looked like the offspring of an alligator and a great ape. The only thing worse than its huge jaws was its proclivity for hurling its own feces.
    â€œThis is going to be a bit of a problem,” said Big Brother, unsheathing his broadsword.
    â€œYou mean the sixty-foot creature that wants to kill us?” said Tyro. “Yes, I fully agree with you.”
    Little Brother cut him off. “No time for sarcasm, little one.”
    â€œOh no, what do you want?” Tyro asked as the Oracle approached.
    â€œYou will get us past the creature.”
    Tyro laughed. “Have I done something to you, personally ? Why are you so hell-bent on getting me killed?”
    â€œYou are wrong, Tyro Tinnywinkle. You will live. You are the key to all success. From the lowly will come all happiness.”
    â€œLowly?”
    â€œEven the smallest rat has its purpose.”
    â€œThat’s sweet.”
    â€œWithout manure, there can be