Free Desire Line by Gee Williams Page A

There she was, grinning on the front step, the bag already off her back, her hair wild and mobile as fronds in the tide: Eurwen, arrived. ‘Anyway you— we agreed she could see out the summer with me, yeah? I fixed up the riding at the Uptons—’
    â€˜Uh-huh.’
    â€˜There’s Megs, Megan Upton… the father’s called Clive. She’s nearer to Eurwen’s age and I thought—’
    â€˜How near?’
    â€˜Twenties,’ he said too quickly.
    â€˜And this woman, Megan,’ she repeated the name on purpose, aiming for a show of neutrality, ‘she has no idea where Eurwen’s gone or—?’
    He chopped her off. ‘How could she? If she knew, she’d tell me. She’s as worried as we are.’
    â€˜ Really ?’
    â€˜No, ‘course not. Figure of speech.’
    â€˜Yes.’ Play better than you are, Sara, don’t be the Harpy that falls on his weakness the instant exposed. This internal advice (ignored on countless previous occasions) now came with a charm-like element. Do not step on the cracks! Do not look back! Touch that carven piece of wood every time you mount the stairs. Eurwen is missing and the torment will not be lifted until you, the guilty party, have rooted out whatever drove her away: in this case your entire self.
    â€˜Eurwen’s changed.’ Josh slumped back, his face bleak. ‘I was still picturing—’ a further drop of the shoulders and raised palms replaced ‘a little girl.’
    And she wasn’t able to respond. Her anger simmering since that early, semi-drunken stagger out into Tackley Close with car keys held out like a weapon had been directed at Josh the deserter who, not content with this first treachery, had lost their daughter. But all it took was this bodily supplication on his part to turn every harsh judgement to vinegar in her throat. And yearning for Eurwen and love for her husband burst through her in a sob as their fierce acids combined. Finally, ‘I know,’ she whispered.
    It was old news that Josh and Sara had split up. Unlikely as a couple, though not more unlikely than Tomiko and a girl in Rhyl producing me, Josh must’ve been mega-ineligible to his father-in-law. ‘ A policeman?’ You only had to meet Geoffrey Severing once or catch a recorded interview, to be impressed by his use of mock amazement in an argument. It was always followed up with scorn. Listen to yourself. Don’t take my word. Also there’s the dates. These two were married early the same year A First came out, Meredith replacing Severing on the cover with days to spare. He’ll have tried to torpedo that at least! But to go back to what I did know – outstanding doctoral student, marriage to Josh, a bestseller, a daughter – I was now seeing the woman as different to my invented Sara. I’ve mentioned how much smaller than estimated but she seemed shrunk in other ways. Timid I wasn’t expecting – very unSevering.
    So right and wrong, Yori. Oxford Sara can still be genuine in her own world and then morph into this visitor jumping out of her skin at a car’s backfire, trailing the woman Kim with a phony sense of purpose. But the first night she stayed with Josh counts against. A separated wife would check into a hotel, surely? Even around Rhyl there must’ve been some that weren’t instantly repulsive – a decent farmhouse B&B ‘backaways’. Research was meant to be her thing. Anywhere other than Avonside would impress a husband that Sara’s arrived ! She’s an extra factor in their joint problem. Then my attitude changes. I flip – I’m for her. Being at least two people myself, I give her a contingency to draw on. Every build has its hitches. Cost of materials doubles. The virtual drawing looks like it means to stay that way. This woman’s secretly expecting to see Eurwen. Half-drunk through the road accidents. Then