Free Zodiac Girls: Brat Princess by Cathy Hopkins Page A

lucky,” said Lynn.
    “I don’t want tea. I want porridge,” I said
through gritted teeth, although a part of me
couldn’t believe I was demanding a bowl of what
looked like slug slime.
    “Say please,” said Selene. “It’s nice to be nice.”
    I rolled my eyes. “Please,” I said wearily. Honestly, I
thought, these people, they don’t half take life seriously .
    “No,” said Selene.
    “No? But… I just said please.”
    “Mario said no breakfast for giving him cheek
earlier this morning and that you have to learn respect.
It’s in your birth chart. Major lesson to learn. That and
must get in touch with her real feelings and not hold
everything in until there’s an explosion.”
    “Oh really? You think that I must learn respect, do
you? Get in touch with my feelings? I don’t think so. I’ve
seen birth charts. They’re all lines and squiggles and
angles in a circle. Nothing about respect and no
breakfast for naughty Leos. Come on Moonface, give us
a break.”
    “No. Can’t. No porridge.”
    Behind me, Marilyn laughed. I didn’t like being
laughed at and she was beginning to annoy me. Before
Selene could stop me, I lifted the lid off the porridge
pan, ladled out a bowlful and scooped some up into my
hand. It felt dis gusting, like puréed snail and it was cold,
but I didn’t care. I turned around and hurled it at
Marilyn. It hit her, splat, right in the face and began to
drip slowly over her forehead.
    “I’ve HAD enough of you,” I said. “You might
talk rot about being a murderer and you might
scare some weedy stupid people, but you DON’T
scare me.”
    “Warghhhh, splah… wur…” Marilyn blustered
through the lumpy goo. She wiped a little from her
eyes while the rest slid down her cheeks and onto her
navy fleece. “Right, posh ponce. You asked for it.” She
stood up and was about to come towards me.
    With the fingers of both my hands, I beckoned her
to try it. “Bring it on,” I said as I reached in and
armed myself with another handful of gunk and
looked at Selene. “Hey. You said to get in touch with
my feelings, Moon Girl.”
    “Oh. Oh dear. I should have known,” said Selene.
“New moon. At an awkward angle to Mars. People’s
emotions are always heightened. There was bound to
be some kind of fight. Oh. Er… come on now, dears.
Play nice.”
    I threw a handful of porridge over her too and
watched with satisfaction as it dripped over her
forehead and onto her lovely silver dress. So what? What
a stupid thing to be wearing in a place like this, I thought. And
anyway, she had been annoying me too, with her lovey-dovey
manner, ever since the moment I’d clapped eyes
on her.
    “Yahay! Food fight,” yelled Jake, and in a split
second he was standing next to me filling his hands with
porridge.
    Dr Cronus appeared at the door. “What’s all the
commotion? I—” Splot. Jake hit the old man with
porridge on his arm then punched the air with glee.
“Result! Excellent.” Old Croniepoo dodged out of the
way and out the door. Selene followed swiftly behind
him.
    “Chickens,” I called after them, then I tucked my
hands under my arms and did a little chicken dance.
Jake joined in with me.
    “Bec, bec, berk, berk, perk,” we clucked.
    In a flash, the others were at the table and all of them
had handfuls of porridge which they were chucking at
each other like it was a snowball fight. For a moment,
it almost felt like fun and reminded me of a time when
Poppy and I had had a food fight. It was when she was
six and we’d thrown chocolate cake mix around. Even
Mum and Dad joined in. That was when we were still
a happy family. That was a long time ago.
    Splat. Splat. Splot. Porridge was being fired
everywhere.
    And then we heard the door blast open and a very
loud whistle.
    I stopped mid hurl and glanced over to see a very
angry-looking Mario standing there. He was dressed in
a wet suit complete with snorkel and flippers, and