Free Zodiac Girls: Brat Princess by Cathy Hopkins

went straight to the
dining area. I sooooo needed some breakfast like I’d
never needed breakfast before. Plus I needed to keep
my strength up for later when the right moment for
escape presented itself. My stomach was making
strange gurgling nosies, I was so utterly starving. I’d
even eat a green apple if there was one. And that
wholemeal bread too, if they didn’t have croissants.
But they were bound to have croissants. Everyone
did.
    I vaguely remembered where the dining room was
from my tour with Mr O and soon found the others in
there gloomily tucking into what looked like beige
gloop in plastic bowls, while Selene stood behind an
enormous pan on a table at the back of the room. She
was dressed in a long silver dress and looked like a fairy
queen and well out of place in the dismal room where
the air smelt of boiled cloth. Ah, happy days , I thought
as I glanced around. Not .
    “Eew. What is that disgusting stuff?” I asked Jake,
who was sitting nearest the door.
    “Boiled glue,” he said.
    “Porridge,” said Lynn.
    “Tastes like glue,” said Jake and he faked his teeth
being glued together by it so that he could only chew
in slow motion. I almost laughed, but then
remembered that I was very, very cross and unhappy.
    At that moment, Dr Cronus came in and Jake
immediately put his bowl on his head, made himself go
cross-eyed and started making a noise like a police car.
Porridge dripped down his forehead.
    I almost laughed again. I could get to like Jake.
Poppy would have liked him if she’d been here. One
of the best things about her was that she was a giggler
and always laughed easily, even when people’s jokes
weren’t that funny. She’d have been on the floor at
Jake’s antics.
    The doctor glanced over at him, but didn’t even blink
an eye.
    “Most amusing, boy,” he said. “It’s not working
though. I know that you’re as sane as I am.”
    “Which isn’t very sane,” I whispered, “because
according to Mr O, all the staff here think that they’re
planets, so basically, they’ve all outluned you.”
    “Umbongo banana,” said Jake and leapt up onto the
table and went into a monkey impersonation. I hoped
that he was still doing his madness act because, if he
wasn’t, he was very weird.
    Dr Cronus seemed to be counting that we were all
present, then he left the room. I went over to the table
where Selene was dolling out the gloop.
    “I’ll have a chocolate croissant and a hot chocolate,”
I said.
    “Will you now? Yes. Well, that sounds nice, but we
don’t have anything like that. This is all there is.” And
she picked up a ladleful of porridge then let it slop back
into the pan with a splot sound.
    Although the gloop looked disgusting, my stomach
was rumbling so much that I decided that I had to give
in just this once. I had had porridge once in a hotel in
Scotland and, if you put enough sugar and fruit on it,
it can taste just about all right.
    “Okay, give me some, but with loads of maple syrup
and cream and some peaches.”
    “I can’t do that,” she said. She put the lid on the pan
then reached below the counter, found a plastic cup,
filled it with water from the tap behind her and
handed it to me.
    “What’s this?”
    “Your breakfast. Tap water.”
    “Er, excuse me. Reality check. I don’t drink tap
water. Okay, I did last night, but that was all you gave
me. I don’t drink just any old brand of water, but tap water? And from a plastic cup? I only drink from china
and crystal. Now cut out the antics and give me some
porridge and put it in a DECENT bowl.”
    “Suit yourself,” she said and put the cup back down.
    “Isn’t there any hot chocolate or cappuccino or
something hot?” I asked.
    Mark snorted behind me.
    “Get ’er,” said Marilyn and went into a mimic of me.
“Oo get me an ’ot chocolate, slave. Oi, ’edley Bent. Sit
down and shurrup, you poncy git.”
    “You’ll get a cup of tea if you’re