Free Loop by Kôji Suzuki, Glynne Walley

other. "Thank you. Not only will it benefit his schoolwork, but I'm sure he'll be happy to have someone to talk to."
    "Okay, then."
    No doubt Ryoji didn't have a friend in the world. Kaoru could understand, because he'd been the same. He'd been just a little of a social outcast at school. But in his case, he'd had a good relationship with his parents that had saved him from feeling lonely. Crazy as his father could be, he'd been the best possible conversation partner for Kaoru. With his father and mother around, Kaoru hadn't been inclined to wonder why he'd been born into this world. He'd never had doubts about his identity.
    What Reiko sought in Kaoru was a father figure for her son. Kaoru didn't have a problem with that. He was confident he could play that role, and do it well.
    But, he wondered: Does she also want a husband figure for herself?
    Kaoru's imagination began to run away with him. He wasn't as confident on that score. But he wanted to at least try to be the man Reiko needed.
    They arranged a date and time for his next visit. Then Kaoru left Ryoji's hospital room.
     
     

4
     
    Kaoru and Ryoji ended up talking with each other a lot, even outside their scheduled lessons. Usually their talks ended up focusing on general science topics. Kaoru was reminded of his own childhood, when his desire to understand the world had led him to delve deeply into natural science.
    At one time, Kaoru had desired to formulate a system or theory that would encompass and explain things normally dismissed as non-science-paranormal phenomena. But the more he learned, the more he came to see that no matter what unified theory he came up with, there would still be phenomena that couldn't be accounted for within it. That realization combined with his father's illness turned his exploring impulses into an interest in a practical field of study, namely medicine.
    Kaoru snapped out of his reverie and looked at Ryoji, a younger fellow inquirer into the workings of the universe.
    Ryoji was sitting cross-legged on his bed as always, rocking gently back and forth. Reiko was in a chair by the window, watching them talk, and she must have been fairly sleepy, for she'd started moving her head back and forth in time with her son's movements.
    "So is that what you're interested in right now?"
    Ryoji had been peppering Kaoru with questions about genetics.
    "Yeah, I guess so."
    Ryoji turned his normally hollow gaze forward and began to stretch where he sat on the bed. He was smiling like he always did, although there was nothing funny about what they were discussing. It wasn't a healthy smile. It was the desperate grin of someone at the end of his own life scorning the world. Kaoru thought he'd gotten used to it, but it could still annoy him if he looked at it long enough. If his father smiled like that, he'd give him a good talking-to-he'd rip into him, father or not.
    There was only one way to wipe that smile off Ryoji's face: goad him into a passionate debate.
    Kaoru changed the subject. "So what are your thoughts on the theory of evolution?" It was a natural progression from genetics.
    "What do you mean?" Ryoji squirmed and rolled his eyes at Kaoru.
    "Okay, how's this for starters? Does evolution move randomly or toward a predetermined goal?"
    "What do you think?" This was one of Ryoji's less pleasing habits. He always tried to ferret out his interlocutor's thinking first, instead of coming straight out with his own opinion.
    "I think evolution moves in a certain direction, but always with a certain latitude for choice." Kaoru couldn't bring himself to give a ringing endorsement of mainstream Darwinian evolutionary theory. Even now that he was taking his first steps toward becoming a specialist in a natural science, he couldn't completely abandon the idea that there was a purpose behind it all.
    "The direction theory. That's pretty much what I believe, too." Ryoji leaned toward Kaoru, as if he'd accomplished something.
    "Shall we start with the