Free Eye of the Labyrinth by Jennifer Fallon

your ability to keep beating yourself up over something that happened twenty years ago.”
    “It was nineteen years ago, actually. And I’ll beat myself up over it as much as I please.”
    “Don’t you think it’s about time you accepted that it is Belagren, not you, who’s responsible for fooling the world into believing a lie?”
    Neris looked at him and shook his head sadly. “Even now, you mouth the words but you don’t understand their significance. Don’t you ever wonder how she could do that, Dirk? Don’t you ever ask yourself how one moderately attractive, not-very-bright Sundancer rose from total obscurity to control of half the world in less than two decades? You’ve met the woman. There’s nothing special about her. So why do men who in every other way are reasonable and intelligent people fall for her lies? How does she manipulate a man as powerful as Antonov Latanya?”
    “You tell me. You’re the one who helped her.”
    Neris frowned at the reminder, but Dirk had learned a lot about him these past two years. Everybody was so afraid of setting him off that nobody dared mention that it was the information he provided to the High Priestess that gave her power. But Neris
wanted
to talk about it. He badly wanted to share his guilt, as if it somehow made it less. And he burned with the need for vengeance. The madman’s true torment, Dirk often thought, was not what he had done, but that he was powerless to undo the damage.
    “I helped her by telling her when the second sun would return. I never had anything to do with the Milk of the Goddess.”
    “What’s the Milk of the Goddess got to do with it?” Dirk asked.
    “It’s the key to sustaining Belagren’s power ... that and the Shadowdancers ... At least it’s how she’s got away with it for as long as she has.” Then he smiled slyly and added, “The Goddess certainly hasn’t been speaking to her much lately.”
    “I don’t see the connection.”
    The madman stared at him owlishly. “And Tia said you were as smart as me?”
    “Fine, then don’t explain it,” he shrugged. “You
are
mad if you think there is any sort of connection between the orbit of our suns and something the Shadowdancers make you drink to get aroused.”
    Neris grinned. “You think that’s all it does? You’re not just dim, you’re actively stupid.”
    There was such a glint of mischief in the older man’s eyes that Dirk could not help but smile. “What are you saying, Neris? That it’s the Milk of the Goddess that gives her power?”
    “Have you ever tried it?”
    Dirk shifted uncomfortably as he thought of Marqel and his one encounter with the Milk of the Goddess. “Once.”
    “Then you’ve some idea of what I’m talking about.”
    “Actually, Neris, I have
no
idea what you’re talking about.”
    Neris sighed heavily. “Oh, very well, I’ll explain it to you, seeing as how you’re too stupid to work it out for yourself. And I’ll use lots of small words so I can be certain you understand it.”
    “I’d appreciate that,” Dirk replied wryly.
    Still clutching the books, Neris assumed a lecturing tone. “The second sun vanished when I was a boy. The suffering was indescribable. Our crops failed. Our cattle died. It was cold, the seas started to drop, and then the earthquakes started and volcanoes that had been dormant for centuries suddenly began to wake. There was only darkness during the day and the red light from the first sun at night. Not long after that, I was sent to the Sundancers at the temple in Bollow.”
    “Did your parents swear you to the Goddess?”
    “Not really. Mostly I was sent there because my family was facing starvation. The Sundancers were willing to take in unwanted children, provided their parents swore an oath to follow the Goddess. I became a Sundancer because that meant there was one less mouth to feed.”
    “What happened after you got there?”
    “I’ll tell you, if you ever stop