Free Blondetourage by Allison Rushby

'Nah, they'd be found
out for sure. Some of that stuff is easily traceable. If
it looked like they needed cash, their cover would
be blown. But this way they look all sweetly charitable.'
    Ah, right. I see. But, hang on again, a donkey
sanctuary? Is she having me on? 'Are you serious
about that charity? Do they really have sanctuaries
for donkeys?'
    George keeps on with her description writing. 'I
saw an article about it once in a magazine and the
donkey they had pictured looked almost as emaciated
as Anouschka, so I thought it was a good fit.'
    I laugh out loud at this. 'And what was the
charity last year?'
    'Adult literacy.'
    Now I really crack up.
    George grins at me. 'I've been trying to find
a charity that helps to wean people off diet soda,
eyelash extensions and owning a shoe collection
worth more than the GDP of several small countries
put together, but so far no luck.'
    'Maybe you'll have to start your own.'
    George nods. 'I guess I could. If I cared enough.'
    Rightio then. Back to good old black B-list
George, I guess. 'So how often do you eBay?' I
stare at the screen, ignoring her 'I don't care' bit.
'I mean, how do you work it if you're moving
around all the time?'
    'Well, I collect whatever I can and stash it all
in the schoolroom back at base camp. I take the
photos and the measurements and things whenever
we're there and then list the items on the road.
Maybe two or three items each day. I just make
sure to tell people it could be a while until I can
post anything to them. It's worked out fine so far.
I think I may even crack $200,000 this year.'
    My eyes widen. '$200,000! Maybe you'd better
find a different charity. All the donkeys need is a
bit of hay thrown their way, right? Donkeys don't
need trips to Club Med.'
    'I know it sounds dumb, but look ...' she brings
up a new Explorer window, quickly typing in the
name of a website. Instantly, photos of donkeys
spring up before my eyes. Donkeys with matted
coats, sticky-out ribs and misshapen overgrown
hooves. Donkeys with sad, 'no one cares about me'
big brown eyes.
    'Oh,' I lean in for a closer look, 'poor things.'
    'It's actually quite sad,' George nods. 'I never
really thought about it before, but donkeys are
kind of overworked and underpaid. Look at this
little guy ...' She clicks on a link to bring up a
picture of a specific donkey. 'This is Mr Peanuts.
He'd been tied up to a hedge for a week without
food or water. He had pneumonia and it took the
farrier two days to fix his poor feet as well. He had
abscesses all over them. So, yeah, even though it
started out as a bit of a joke, I'm kind of glad the
money is going to the donkeys this year. I think
they deserve it.'
    'Sorry I made fun of it,' I say quickly.
    George just shakes her head. 'Don't worry
about it. I mean, donkey sanctuaries. Who'd have
thought? And it is kind of funny. They're so up to
the minute they even have their own donkeycam!
I can take a peek at what they're up to around the
clock, if I want to!'
    I stand up now. 'I guess I'd better leave you to it,
then. Just remember, a little less donkeycam, a little
more eBaying, or Mr Peanuts really will starve.'
    George laughs.
    'And anything I can do to help, just ask.'
    'Thanks,' she says. 'I may just take you up
on that. You know, wrestle a $5000 purse off
Anouschka, steal a diamond-encrusted collar off
Fluffy ...'
    We both look down at him with this and he
hisses at George. 'Oh, Fluffy,' I bend down for a
pat. 'She's only joking.' After a moment or two,
I glance back up at George. 'So, um, any idea what
we're up to today?'
    George looks back at her screen now. 'Yep,
Melinda was in before. Lessons this morning, then
we're going for a walk along the Seine. The girls
are filming at the LV store this afternoon,' she
glances up for a second, 'and you are definitely
coming along with me there. You have got to see
the place. Disgusting. A shrine to consumerism.
Then we've got a couple hours off. JJ should have
it off too, because the girls will be busy