Free Tattoo by Katlin Stack, Russell Barber

long. 
     
     

THIRTEEN
     
    Graduation caps flung high in the air. Parties were scheduled for every weekend of the summer, good-byes reserved for the end. But I was spending my summer working forty hours a week, at a local coffee shop and another fifteen hours a week coaching baseball camps. I had secured an apartment on Main St. and was moving in July first. Lauren was going to be moving in in August. She wanted more time at home with her parents, which was fine with me because I had a lot of fixing up to do for the place. 
     
    Part of the reason I was able to move in so quickly was because the landlord wanted it fixed up.  I offered to take care of it for him if he would lower the rent a little. He agreed, so I was able to pay the security deposit, first month's rent, and two more months of rent out of my savings account. After that I was drained of money. That was a problem, since I recently discovered how much a baby would cost. Lauren and I had spent one of my sporadic days off at baby stores making lists of things we needed. Clothes, crib, car seat, diapers, toys, the list seemed to go on and on. But first things first, before I could have Lauren or the baby living there, I needed to fix it up.
     
    During my times off, I had fixed leaky faucets, patched holes in the walls, painted, fixed floor boards. Sometimes Lauren's dad would come and help too, which was always more helpful than he knew, but most of the time, I worked late into the night, so I was on my own. It seemed that my life was just one big list after another. But I kept at it. I had no choice.  
     
    When baseball had ended in the beginning of June, I had been able to start going with her to check on the baby. It was amazing every time. How it grew so quickly, how it became this tiny little person. How much that little person would need. It was a lot of responsibility and every once in a while, when I would lay in bed alone in my apartment in the suffocating July heat, I would think about it all. The endless lists, the worrying, it was a lot. But then I'd see Lauren every night after my shift. I'd feel the baby move. And I knew somewhere inside that it would be ok. It wouldn't be easy, but I knew every time I looked into Lauren's eyes, that we would make it ok. 
     
    The moment that changed my whole world, was the day Lauren decided she wanted to know the sex of the baby. We'd been going back and forth on the issue, debating it all the time.  At first it would be a yes, then she'd flip her mind like a light switch. 
     
    During the car ride to her appointment in the beginning of July, she changed it again. I was taking the backroads on a gorgeous sunny day. We were singing at the top of our lungs, completely out of tune, blasting to the radio. It wasn't often that we got to relax and have fun but on this particular day I was enjoying every second. Lauren grabbed my hand that was resting on the stick shift. 
     
    "I want to know the sex of the baby," she told me.
     
    "You do? Are you sure this time? Not going to get a rage of pregnancy hormones and change your mind again?" I laughed.
     
    She hit my arm in mock anger. Truth was, she knew I was right. Since June she'd been having crazy mood swings, highest highs with laughing and teasing, to tears and hating me in one swift move. Half the time I didn't know what I had done to piss her off. But her mother would assure me, after every door Lauren slammed towards me, that it was just the pregnancy. Not to worry, I was doing great. Even when Lauren's dad would come over once in a while to help with the apartment, he'd tell me there was nothing I could do about the "pregnancy brain" and it wouldn't get easier after the baby was out either. So I just needed to ride it out as best as I could. Her dad was still livid with me, but he hated me less and less.
     
    "Yes, I'm really sure this time.  I want to start painting the nursery." she said and squeezed my hand.
     
    "Well, ok then. We'll go pick the