Free Carly’s Journey into Submission (Carly's Journey) by Cynna Rein

My journey into an alternate lifestyle wasn’t planned, it just kind of happened.  I was an average sized woman, not overweight but not a bean pole; I had wider hips but had full breasts to match.  I had always been considered attractive with an oval face, full lips, and long wavy blonde hair.  I had blue eyes that looked almost icy with long luscious lashes.  Even in my late 30’s, my skin was fair and toned, with just the hint of fine lines but not as much as many of my younger co-workers.  I looked in the mirror and would say – “what is wrong with me?” Over the past year with my boyfriend our sex life was non-existent.  He hadn’t so much as hugged me.  For me it was like culture shock, as the guy before that had wanted sex at least three times a week usually more.  I am not sure why I didn’t dump him, I could have.  I was hoping I guess he would change back to the guy I had fallen in love with but it got to the point though where I was so sexually frustrated that I was losing my mind.  My usual romance tastes turned into a thirst for erotic books, but honestly, this made things even worse.  All I can say is thank god for my kindle because at least no one knew what I was reading.  Seriously some of my favorite titles I read started with bound and fucked .
    I started to masturbate in the shower frequently, oh who I am kidding, almost daily.  It was really the only place I had any real privacy. We had a shower head that was on a cord , and had a variety of settings for water pressure.    I fantasized about the characters of my most recent erotic novel.  I was the female submissive being dominated, and forced to do whatever the male Dom or Doms wanted.  I would think of being touched by them as I held my folds open and used the pressure of the water spray on my clit.  The feeling was wonderful.  It wouldn’t take long for me to orgasm, visualizing the Dom licking me or pounding his cock into, me as the water pulsed.
    I never really thought of myself as a submissive , but as far as sex goes, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense.  Even from my first sexual experiences, I had trouble saying no to a man directing me to do something.  Now, outside of the bedroom I am not like that, I can take control and do what I need to in the office setting to be capable and effective.  However, even there I have submissive tendencies.  When crossing a man’s path in the hallway I would lower my eyes, not something a casual observer would probably notice but after reading enough on the subject of submission it was a real tell sign that I had serious submissive tendencies.
    After 6 months of self-serving in the shower, it got harder and harder to climax, I really had to fantasize and focus.  Part of me was afraid to get caught; the bathroom door didn’t lock, and my boyfriend had a key to my place, at the same time part of me wanted to get caught.  I had been curious as I read a lot of erotica about ménages and what it would be like to try anal play.  Of course, that wasn’t happening with my partner.  Who, by the way, said his lack of initiation when it came to sex was all in my head, when I tried to ask him about it.  So I went on line and bought myself a vibrator and a small flexible butt plug.   All I can say is thank goodness for online shopping.  I had no idea on the selection that would be available, and the colors; I was overwhelmed.  I looked at on-line reviews.  Then I waited for my packages which I was assured would arrive in a discretely labeled and packaged box.  I did a fair amount of on-line shopping so it wasn’t unusual for me to get packages and my boyfriend rarely expressed any interest in the contents.
    One afternoon when I knew I would be alone in the house for some time, I decided it was time to break them out from their hiding place and give them a try.  I stop ped in kitchen to cut open the hard plastic wrapping; seriously, did it need to be double