Free The Inheritance by Irina Shapiro Page B

brought out the food.
    Ronnie came running into the Hall wearing a jester’s hat with bells and began his routine.  He did a couple of backflips to general applause , and then sang a song about Christmas.  He gave his audience time to get sufficiently tipsy before his jabs became more personal.  Ronnie walked around the room choosing his prey, then made up rhymes about them on the spot.  One of his first victims was Joan.  She sat demurely next to her parents looking lovely in a rust-colored dress that brought out her hair and accentuated her hazel eyes. 
    Ronnie stopped before her and bowed , looking thoughtful. 
    “Mistress Joan,” he cackled.  “What can we say about y e?  Oh, I ken.”  He waited for the crowd to quiet down then sang his little verse.
    Joanie’s nose is out of joint
    And still she dinnae get the point,
    Her lover’s wedded to another
    So he need nay longer bother.
     
    Joan blushed beet-red as the crowd snickered and laughed, but Ronnie had already forgotten about her and made his way to the front of the Hall.  He stopped in front of Rory and winked at the audience.  Everyone held their breath waiting for another rhyme.
    Yon coal-black eyes and wild curls
    Are in the dreams of all the girls
    Yet our Rory’s still unwed
    Lift y er kilt and do your duty, lad.
    This particularly appealed to the young ladies in the room and the y giggled, hoping that Rory would heed Ronnie’s advice. Rory laughed with the rest of the company, and waited for the Abbot of Unreason to move on to someone else.
    Ronnie bowed to John and cocked his head as if thinking hard.  Then he looked up as if he thought of something , and picked on the one thing that he knew would rile John. 
    If John’s tread was a wee bit lighter,
    He’d surely be a bonnie fighter
    His enemies would fear his sword,
    Instead of being deathly bored .
    The Hall erupted in laughter.  John’s clumsiness was legendary and he looked fit to be tied, but raised a glass to Ronnie and toasted his wit.  However, Ronnie wasn’t done with John yet.  He turned to Isobel giving her a lewd stare and licked his lips, winking at her until she blushed.
    With eyes of green and flaming hair
    Our Lady Isobel is mighty fair,
    Alas, it’s wasted on her Lord
    So, it’s by others that she’s adored.
    He looked around the Hall as if looking for Isobel’s admirers and his eyes briefly rested on Rory as he moved on.  John looked livid, but restrained himself, and Ronnie went in search of other victims.
    The mummers came in to put on their show while Ronnie took a break to have his dinner.  Everyone was thoroughly enjoying themselves , and soon the musicians would begin to play and there would be dancing.  As the mummers finished to roaring applause, some of the tables were moved to the side, and the musicians took their place.  They would play until dawn, and by now everyone was itching to get up and stretch their legs. 
    Ronnie ran to the front, his bells jingling and raised his hands asking everyone to wait. 
    “For this first dance, I, the Abbot of Unreason, will choose the partners.”  He went around the room choosing the most unlikely pairs.  He paired the tallest woman with the shortest man, the youngest with the oldest , and a skeletally thin man with a woman who could have easily crushed him if she sat on him.  Then he gave a malicious laugh as he paired up John and Joan, and Isobel with Rory.
      A momentary hush fell over the crowd, but Ronnie made a show of being displeased , and waved to the musicians to start playing.  The music began and the couples took to the dance floor, laughing and twirling to the music.  Isobel’s cheeks were flushed, and she felt light as air as Rory partnered her skillfully.  She could see John’s sour look out of the corner of her eye, and it made her even happier.  Rory’s eyes caressed her as they danced, but she knew that people were watching, and lowered her eyes in false modesty.
    John grabbed