Free White Nights by Susan Edwards

could easily access them, she rubbed her lower back to ease the lingering stiffness.
    A sharp jab inside her prompted her to caress her swollen belly. Soon, she’d hold her babe in her arms. Impatience to have her pregnancy come to an end warred with the fear of giving birth on the trail. She sighed. It could be worse. Some women traveling had no one to assist them. Both she and Anne had each assisted in several births on the trail, fetched by frantic husbands. Thankfully, she’d have Anne and Sofia when her time came.
    Laughter from a family camped nearby drew Eirica’s attention. Like most of the emigrants making the long arduous journey, the fertile green land of Oregon had lured Lars and Anne Svensson from their struggling farm as well.
    Eirica watched Lars tease his two young daughters, Kerstin and Hanna. Both girls shrieked with delight. Witnessing the bountiful display of love caused a ball of envy to wind tight inside her. How she longed for the carefree happiness so many families took for granted. Not so much for herself, but for her children who’d never known the tender loving attention of a doting father or relaxed, fun-filled mealtimes.
    Neither had she, she realized, turning away when Lars unashamedly kissed his wife on the lips in front of their children. Mealtimes in her father’s house had always been silent affairs, broken only by the noisy, rude eating habits of her brothers and their demands for more food. And sitting down to eat at the same table with Birk always tied her stomach in knots. Would he be displeased with the food, or would one of the children spill their milk or start fussing? It had never taken much to set him off. And if his day had gone badly, then nothing any of them did pleased him.
    Suddenly, she was thrown back in time, caught in the bruising grip of a daymare as images from her haunting past played before her eyes. She shook with remembered pain, recalling the time Birk had come in from the field and found supper not on the table. She’d just given birth to Alison days before, and caring for her newborn had caused her to fall behind in supper preparations.
    Birk had been furious and in his rage, he’d thrown the pot of boiling water at her, burning her stomach and half of her chest. A low sound from her throat brought her back to the present. It took several minutes to calm herself. Birk was dead and could no longer cause them pain.
    With her breathing steadied, she repeated her vow to see that love and laughter filled her children’s hearts. She glanced around, checking their whereabouts. Lara stood at the edge of the Svenssons’ camp. Kerstin ran over and led her to Hanna.
    Eirica smiled. Her quiet little Lara adored Anne’s two daughters and surprisingly, none of the boys scared her. The Svenssons had four strapping sons. Bjorn, fifteen, bent down and tweaked Hanna’s long blond braids, then reached for Kerstin’s, but she slapped him away. To Lara’s delight, the boy also reached over and tapped her on the nose before sauntering away, leaving three giggling girls behind him.
    The sight of her love-starved daughter saddened Eirica. Could she ever make up for what her children had lacked in their short lives? Fighting off the ever-present guilt that she hadn’t taken steps to stop Birk a long time ago, she turned in a slow circle, searching for Alison and Ian.
    Ian moved faster than a jackrabbit these days and required at least three sets of eyes to keep him out of mischief. She breathed a sigh of relief when she spotted him running from Alison a short distance away. She stole a few moments to watch them as well.
    Alison trapped Ian next to a wagon wheel that was taller than he was. Unwilling to lose to his elder sister, Ian dropped to his hands and knees and crawled between Alison’s spread legs, then straightened his own sturdy limbs and took off, shouting in triumph.
    Eirica chuckled as their gleeful laughter filled the morning air. She shook her head. Those two