Free Intentions - SF9 by Susan X Meagher

herself. "Would you like some music?" she offered, knowing that her voice betrayed her anxiety.
    "That would be nice. There are a number of CD's in the cabinet there," Catherine indicated. Ryan opened the door and found a lot of new age instrumentals, but one disc caught her eye.
    "Cool," she muttered to herself as she pulled out Joanie Madden's "Song of the Irish Whistle."
    "Pardon, Dear?" Catherine asked.
    "Oh," Ryan said as she popped the disc in the very snazzy Bang & Olufsen CD player, "I was just commenting on this CD. This is my instrument, you know."
    As the strains of the Celtic harp wafted through the air Catherine turned and looked at her carefully. "This one?"
    "No, I play the whistle." Several bars later the ethereal tones of the whistle began. "That one right there," Ryan indicated.
    "What a beautiful instrument," Catherine said. "Do you play often?"
    "No, as a matter of fact, I don't think I've touched it since I've been with Jamie. I used to express myself through my music, but I just don't have the need anymore. I should get in the habit again. I can't afford to get too rusty if I want to keep it up."
    "Jamie would love to hear you play, Ryan. I guarantee you'd have an appreciative audience."
    "Good point," Ryan said, much more relaxed now that the calming whistle was trilling in the background. "I'll pull it out as soon as we get home." She approached the table and tried her best to get into her professional mode. "What type of massage are you used to?"
    "The person I have now just does traditional Swedish massage, but I love Shiatsu also. Why don't you do whatever you're comfortable with."
    I'd be comfortable making a run for it , Ryan thought as her stomach gripped again. She grabbed a bottle of lightly scented massage oil and warmed it in her hands for a few moments as she tried to decide where to start.
    She delayed so long that Catherine finally turned onto her back and caught Ryan's wide-eyed gaze. "Are you as nervous as I am?" she asked, a smile brightening her face.
    "More," Ryan gulped, feeling better almost immediately just to have the issue out in the open.
    "Do you want to just skip it, Dear? I don't want to make you nervous."
    "No, no, this is no big deal, Catherine. I'm a professional-I just have to calm my mind for a minute."
    "For what it's worth, Ryan, even though I'm a little uncomfortable, I trust you completely." She gave her a warm, open smile, and Ryan felt the rest of her anxiety ease.
    Returning the smile, Ryan said, "Let's start some place nice and safe." She stood on the left side of the table and took Catherine's arm in her hands and began to work the massage oil into her flesh. "Let me know how firm a touch you like," she advised.
    "I'm tougher than I look, Ryan," she laughed. "I like a lot of pressure."
    Hmm, there's a family trait , she thought as she started to work on her mother-in-law's arms.
    "I think I'd be more comfortable on my stomach," Catherine said, and Ryan helped her arrange the sheet after she had turned over. Getting back to business, she pulled both arms above Catherine's head as she dug into the muscles with her thumbs. "Perfect," Catherine hissed out in a pleasure-filled moan. "Just perfect."
    Oh, God ! Ryan cried inwardly as she realized that Jamie moaned just like her mother did. I've got to get my mind on business! She used every centering technique that she knew, but the only thing that worked was when she reminded herself that Catherine trusted her implicitly. She knows I'm very sexual, she knows I sleep with her daughter, and she knows that her husband would kill both of us if he saw me massaging her. And yet, she trusts herself to be this vulnerable with me. I can't repay that trust by letting my mind wander all over the place. She's not my lover's naked mother. She's a woman who is putting her trust in my hands, and I have to respect that in the same spirit that it's offered.
    Once her little pep talk was finished she switched her mind off rather easily