Free Shadowed Soul by John Spagnoli

through the pouring rain.
    “Thomas?  What’s wrong with you?  Are you talking to yourself?”  I turned to see Beth, her hair soaked.  Bailey stood next to her, gazing at me with reproach.
    “You shouldn’t be out here, Beth.”
    “No, I shouldn’t be out here, but if you hadn’t stomped out like a petulant child then I wouldn’t have had to follow you?”  She took a few steps toward me; I recoiled.  “What the hell is wrong with you?”
    “What do you think’s wrong with me?” I glowered.
    “I don’t know!”
    “Maybe I hate the fact that you have taken my entire family away from me!”
    “What?”  Beth’s face creased with anger. “How can you say that?”
    “It’s true Beth,” I snarled.  “I’m going home to an empty apartment and it’s because of that baby!”
    “ That baby ?!” Beth’s voice hardened to a brittle timber.  “That baby is your son and if you had wanted us to come home then we would have.  The only reason I’m staying at my parents’ is because of the extra help while my sutures are still healing.  But if you had argued or even let me know that this wasn’t what you wanted then I would have come home to you without a problem.”
    “What about Bailey?  There’s more than enough room in the apartment for me and him!”
    “He’s my seeing-eye dog, Thomas!” she sighed.  “I need him to get around.”
    “He’s my friend!”
    “I know and he still is and you’ll get to see him when you come to see me and Jonathan.”
    “I’m going to be all alone!”
    “I know that, Thomas, and I hate the idea,” she shook her head ashamed of herself for further enabling me and yet still full of love and compassion. “You could come and stay with us in the house though.”
    “No, there’s not enough room!”
    “We’ll make room.  Mom and Dad will be happy to have you there.”
    “No, they won’t!” I said flatly, not really believing what I was saying but still convincing myself that it was true. “They never liked me, Beth.  They always just pretend for your sake, it’s obvious.  Listen, just go back to your parents and I’ll call you tomorrow!”
    “Thomas, please, listen to me…”
    The Shadowed Soul turned my body and mind away as my bus waded through a puddle to a stop.  Beth watched as I patted Bailey on the head.
    “I’ll see you soon, Bailey,” I said then clambered somberly onto the bus as my wife stood in the rain, her face a study of misery and tears.  The bus pulled away and I stared ahead hating every single cell that was in my body.
    How long the journey took I have no idea.  Mechanically, I changed buses, a broken robot that knew it had to get there and carried out the journey without a sense of purpose.  The decayed place I was going was no longer my home.  Devoid of all I had loved it was now a mere box for shelter.
    Around 11L00 p.m., I reached the apartment.  Opening the door to the gaping chasm of dark abandonment was a trigger.  Behind me, the door shut; I leaned back as a plaintive wail escaped my chest.  I sank to my knees.  No warm friendly snout intruded on my grief. 
    “Hello, Thomas!  Ready to play?”  Alone with the Shadowed Soul, inescapably isolated from the world, I headed to the kitchen for a drink.
    “Fuck off!” I mumbled, shuddered and collapsed on the floor weeping.
    By the time I looked up from my fetal position on the kitchen floor the clock on the wall indicated two hours had passed.  The Shadowed Soul was responsible for stealing time while robbing me of happiness.  Wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, I caught my reflection in the window as I stood up.  I should have gone to bed; I had work the next day.  But the idea of sleep seemed alien.  Dazed, I found myself in the living room seated at my computer typing in that familiar URL. 
    “Why not raise the stakes, Thomas?” asked the Shadowed Soul mischievously taking over my keyboard. “Don’t be so dull, my friend.”  Before me a