Free Wishful Thinking by Alexandra Bullen

what I wanted by now. I’m not all that worried about it, but my momis convinced I’m throwing my life away by not going to college.”
    “Were you planning on it?” Hazel asked.
    “I guess. I mean, I’m definitely not enlisting, which is what my dad thinks I should do,” he said. “I don’t know. I talked to Rosanna about it. She’s the only one who understands anything.”
    Hazel hugged her knees to her chest and rested her chin on her forearms. “She seems really great,” she said, the same mix of pride and confusion battling inside of her. She loved hearing people saying nice things about her mother. But a familiar knot was twisting in her stomach. If all of the amazing things she’d heard were true, if Rosanna was so understanding and generous and kind, why had she given Hazel up at all? Now that she was seeing all that she’d been missing out on firsthand, it was hard not to feel even more disappointed.
    Luke buried his heels deeper in the sand. “She’s the best,” he said plainly. “I have no idea what would happen to me if I didn’t have this place to come back to every year.”
    Hazel turned to look at Luke, his profile glowing in the burnt orange light of the flames behind him. She had never talked this way with anyone, let alone a boy. The idea that he was actually, in the real world, more than twice her age, flitted across her conscience for a moment. But talking to him was so easy and comfortable that it was hard to remember it wasn’t real.
    Luke turned back from the water, the whites of his eyes glistening as he held her gaze. Hazel wanted to look away but couldn’t.
    “I’m glad you saw that sign in town.” He smiled, his brown eyes warm and inviting. “I knew Aunt Ro would love that dress.” His hand moved closer to hers and he nudged her teasingly with one bent elbow.
    Hazel squirmed from his touch, bolting upright. “Aunt Ro?” she repeated.
    Luke was still leaning toward her, his fingers brushing against hers.
    “Rosanna,” he said quietly. “She’s my mom’s sister. I just had a feeling you two would—”
    Hazel sprung to her feet in one quick motion, nearly trampling Luke’s hand. Without a word, she turned and scurried back toward the steps.
    “What happened?” Luke called after her, pushing himself up to standing as she started to climb to the top. “Where are you going?”
    “I have to go back,” she called over her shoulder, every thud of her heartbeat exploding in her ears. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”
    She could feel Luke on her heels and hurried to put more distance between them. Rosanna was his aunt. He was her
cousin.
Hazel felt sick.
    “Do you want me to walk you?” Luke asked. Hazel glanced back at him again. His wide eyes were puzzled and searching. “It’s dark.”
    Hazel paused, her hand on the splintered railing. “No,” she said. Her mind spun in dizzying circles. “I need to be alone.”
    Luke stood frozen, looking up at her for a long moment before stuffing his hands in his pockets and slouching back to the bottom step. He kicked at the sand before turning and walking back toward the fire.
    Hazel watched him go, her breathing shallow and hard. She started back up the stairs, the dim light of the moon her only guide as she struggled to find her way.

11
    T he next morning, Hazel followed Jaime toward the barn, yawning and dragging her feet across the lawn. She hadn’t gotten much sleep. Every time she closed her eyes she saw the hurt look on Luke’s face when she’d left him by the fire. And then the dizzy sick feeling was back, lurking inside her belly. In the light of day, it was almost funny. Of course the first guy she’d ever cared about getting to know would be her biological relative. Of course.
    “Rosanna wants your help today,” Jaime said, stopping abruptly in front of the studio and swatting the screen door open. Hazel looked up quickly, unable to stop the smile that was stretching across her lips. She couldn’t tell