Free Bad Beats: A Rock-Star Step-Brother Romance by C.L. Riley

one yummy package teases my senses. I ignore the urge to ask what cologne he has on, afraid I will buy a bottle and douse my pillow with it. 
    “I like real. Go on,” he prompts, redirecting my thoughts.
    When I hesitate, he offers an encouraging smile. “Please, tell me.”
    There is no way I can say no when he asks like that. The smile doesn’t hurt either.
    With a sigh, I launch into my story before I chicken out. “Back in high school, my good friend went through a recreational drug phase. He decided to try anything he could get his hands on. He wasn’t the only one. It seemed like everyone was getting high or drinking, and not just on weekends.
    I’m not sure what other schools are like, but ours was notorious for its drug problems. Anyway, Thomas was an athlete and in great shape. There was no reason for us to think he had any health issues, especially a serious one.” I pause, reaching for my drink before realizing the irony of my action.
    I am getting ready to reveal one of my darkest moments, a moment that might have been prevented or at the very least delayed without booze and blow hastening it along. A cocktail is the last thing I need. I grab my water bottle instead, wishing I’d added more ice. 
    “You okay?” Shag lowers his sunglasses and searches my face.
    His unexpected concern thrills me far more than his usual cheap innuendos. If he continues with the nice guy act, I’ll be doomed.
    I force myself to nod. “I haven’t talked about this in a long time. I wasn’t prepared for how it would make me feel.”
    “You don’t have to tell me,” he assures, endearing himself to me even more.
    “No, I want to. It’s a good reminder why I avoid certain extracurricular activities.”
    After another sip of water, I continue on to the part I’m dreading. “Thomas had an undiagnosed heart condition. When he decided to smoke large quantities of crack cocaine, it triggered a fatal reaction.” I swallow a sob threatening to escape, but am unable stop my eyes from misting. “As if that wasn’t bad enough, things only got worse. Thomas had a twin sister. They were like soul-siblings, closer than close. She didn’t take his overdose well, as you can imagine. Two months later, she decided living without her twin wasn’t worth the effort. She was found hanging in her walk-in closet.”
    I refuse to cry and snatch my drink instead, chugging down what’s left and feeling horrible for giving in.
    Shag’s expression is hard to read, considering the glasses, but I can see his jaw twitch and he’s grown tense, no longer kicked back and relaxed.
    Unsure what to say next, I wait for his response.
     
    * * *
    Shag
     
    When I encouraged Cadie to be real , I wasn’t expecting her to share something so personal, especially something that would force me to examine my own questionable habits.
    Pain-inducing and thought-provoking discussions aren’t my strong suit. I do everything possible to keep conversations light and hopefully humorous. Sexual suggestions, jokes, and dramatic retellings of my experiences are my specialty. Those subjects are in my safe zone. Emotionally, I live in that safe zone, walled off from anything too heavy for my hardened heart.
    But once again, the woman next to me has found a way to shake the walls I’ve erected. Cracks and fissures are starting to appear in the supposedly, impenetrable foundation I have worked so hard to fortify. Part of me wants to get up and walk away. But if I do it a second time, any chance I might have with the fiery redhead will be obliterated.
    For some inexplicable reason, I’m not ready or willing to give up whatever it is I feel for her, not yet anyway. And I’m definitely not giving up until I’ve had her in my bed.
    I can’t remember ever wanting a woman more. But there’s a glaring problem I can’t ignore, an issue sure to put a skidding stop to anything that might be developing between us.
    Considering her repulsion in regard to drugs, cocaine