Free Dapper Carter's 8 Rules of Dating by alan mitchell

model from L.A.  Actually, she was
from Chatsworth, the porn capital of the world.  After growing weary of
Vivid Video propositioning her to make adult movies all the time, she moved to New York to be a serious actress. She had my utmost respect for seeking to perfect her
craft.
    However, she almost ate her way right out of the
business in an attempt to gain weight so producers in the industry would take
her seriously as an actress and not see her as just another pretty face. She
hated how in L.A. a “producer” would invite her to a party at his house and
when she showed up, there would be no one but her in attendance.
    So she embarked on that donut and fried chicken diet
I was on. What she didn’t understand was that it didn’t matter. If two
actresses were up for the same part with equal ability and one was cute and the
other was mediocre, whom do you think was going to get the role? Lucky for her,
she had great genetics and was able to get back down to her fighting weight and
look amazing as she always had.
    We met during the short stint I had living in Los Angeles after moving out west for no particular reason other than I saw all the fine honeys
in the Nothing But a G Thang video and decided that L.A. was the place
for me. People told me all the time I should try modeling or acting, but no one
told me that there were two million other motherfuckers who looked just like me
and were in just as good of shape as I was out there.
    Our paths crossed for the first time at a music
video shoot for one of the countless artists we never hear about that have been
signed to major record labels, shot a music video for a new single, and never
gets released. I was a production assistant (gopher) and she was “featured”(extra).
It was actually sad to see how many aspiring actresses believed that her big
break would come from running around with her tits and ass out letting rappers
and video directors pass them around. As far as I knew, only one girl ever made
the jump from music video eye candy to the big screen and that was the pouty-lipped
white chick from the movie Clueless . Although Karin Steffans has done
well for herself, I guess.
    Eva could eat like no other, so I referred to her as
“Eva the Eata” because she only called me when she needed a meal. She spent
more time at the craft services table than actually in front of the camera. I
don’t know where she stored the food on her ridiculous five-foot-eight inch, 130
pounds of 100-meter-sprinter-at-UCLA muscled body.
    Unfortunately, she would never sleep with me. I
always considered her a vendetta. Her biggest problem was that she thought she
knew it all. Yes, she was one of the finest women to walk the earth, but then
she opened her big mouth and chased away every man who was interested in her. Plus,
she was color struck. She came up with some bullshit excuse about how she only
liked dark-skinned men and that I was too light for her. In my opinion, the
real reason she only was attracted to dark men was that she really hated
herself. As in hated her own “Imitation of Life,” tragic mulatto skin. She
needed to be with someone darker than her in order to validate her own blackness.
Nevertheless, she was gorgeous…and I always wanted her.
    She arrived late, of course, but was stunning in a lime
green, sleeveless Oscar de la Renta.  She ordered a glass of Malbec and I ordered two martinis.  I was going to need them. 
     “Dapper, I'm sorry things didn't work out
between you and Kennedy.”
    “Thanks.” I half-heartedly answered, not even trying
to give my former wife any thought.
    “But I guess it was to be expected. Between the
money you lost gambling and throwing up on her mother at the wedding reception,
I'm surprised it lasted as long as it did!”
    Fuck you ! I mean, who did she think she was? I
felt like reaching across the table and snatching her up by her fragile throat.
But I also felt like reaching across the table and ramming my tongue down her
throat