Free Baby Blues and Wedding Shoes by Amanda Martin

blessing,
albeit something I had no say in, and he hated it. As if I got
pregnant just to spite him!
    Helen stood up and tried to
pace in the tiny room, her body quivering with energy.
    Who does he think he is, trying
to run my life? Am I just one of his business deals, something he
needs to control down to the smallest detail?
    The thought made her feel
hollow, as if the life they had lived for the last few years was a
sham. She sat down again, the fizzing energy burning itself out as
quickly as it came, leaving her with the weakness she had come to
associate with being pregnant.
    As she sat slumped in defeat,
hollowness gave way to numbness. She flopped back and stared at the
ceiling, feeling more lost than she could remember feeling before.
She had always had a purpose, a drive to live life. Had Daniel
stolen that from her?
    I’ll be damned if he
has .
    The words flared in her mind as
Helen fought back the wave of self-pity threatening to consume her.
Focusing on the anger, Helen pushed away the loneliness and loss. A
steely taste filled her mouth. As she took first one deep breath
and then another, Helen felt resolve creep through her. Sitting
back up, she found she no longer wanted to sob. She didn’t even
want him to call. If he thought she was going to sacrifice her baby
for his grand design he had carefully selected the wrong woman.
    Wouldn’t he just hate that?
    A taut smile dragged at her
salt-tight cheeks. Now Helen felt that going to her mother’s was
not running away but rather a strategic retreat to formulate a new
plan of action. She picked up her phone and selected the familiar
number, breathing slowly as she waited for her mother to
answer.
    “Maggie speaking.”
    “Mum? It’s Helen.”
    “Darling, how lovely to hear
from you. How are the wedding plans going? Your father and I are so
looking forward to coming to town.”
    “Ah,” Helen hesitated, she’d
forgotten about her mother’s endless enthusiasm. “There might not
be a wedding. Something has happened.”
    “Goodness, what is it, darling?
Is it Daniel?” Her voice took on an edge Helen hadn’t heard before.
“Has he cheated on you?”
    “Now what would make you say
that?” Helen was momentarily diverted. Her mother had been nothing
but positive about Daniel until now. Was it going to be one of
those instances where suddenly everyone came out and admitted they
had never liked him anyway? She couldn’t decide whether to be
amused or irritated that her life was taking on the hue of a bad
chick lit novel.
    “Nothing really, he doesn’t
seem the wandering type, but why else does a wedding get called off
at short notice. Are you having second thoughts? Is he?”
    “I’m pregnant.”
    There was a long silence.
Helen’s heart pounded as she waited to hear her mother’s reaction.
Maybe telling her over the phone wasn’t such a great idea.
    “That’s fantastic news! My
first grandchild.” Her voice was joyous but Helen could hear that
it was slightly forced. She waited, knowing her mother would say
what she really meant eventually.
    “Is that why the wedding is
off? Do you want to wait until after the baby is born? The dress is
beautiful, from the pictures I’ve seen; it would be a shame to
spoil the line with a bump. How far along are you?”
    “I can only be 5 or 6 weeks,
there’s no bump.”
    “Then why, darling? I don’t
understand.”
    She realised she might as well
tell her mother the whole truth straight away. She didn’t feel
obliged to paint Daniel in a good light, so she didn’t mince her
words.
    “Daniel wants me to get rid of
it.”
    “He WHAT?”
    Helen had never heard her
mother raise her voice, not even when she and her brother drew
sheep on the landing walls with the felt-tip pens she’d got for her
fifth birthday.
    “Is he mad?” Her mother’s voice
was shaking with reined-in emotion.
    “He certainly seemed so to me
last night. He told me to do what I was told or get out, so I got
out.” Helen revisited