Free Beneath the Blonde by Stella Duffy

enough. I know he loves her. And she loves him, it’s just she had more balls when she was single.”
    “She seems pretty strong to me.”
    “She is. But she used to be more. Stronger, faster.” He shook his head, “There just used to be more to Siobhan before it all became about making her look as if she was tough, instead of just letting her be her own staunch self.”
    “It could just be age, couldn’t it? It is fairly normal to tone it down a bit as you get older.”
    Kevin almost conceded with a slight incline of his head, “Maybe, it hasn’t slowed Alex down any.”
    “Do you blame him?”
    “For getting me sacked? Yeah, I do. It’s all down to him. Even in the beginning he didn’t really want me around.”
    “Is it to do with Siobhan?”
    Kevin frowned, “Why? What?”
    “Maybe he fancies Siobhan too. If he knew you did …”
    “Nah. He doesn’t fancy Siobhan. He fancies himself. He fancies themselves. The famous fucking five.” Kevin finished his pint, “Get me another one, love, and a whisky chaser.”
    Saz obediently went to the bar where she also ordered a fourth diet Coke for herself and a couple of bags of crisps in an attempt to keep Kevin on the coherent side of sobriety.
    He downed his whisky in one and launched back into his tale, “Alex is only interested in the band. Always has been. Can’t keep a girlfriend, doesn’t have any friends outside the band …”
    “It doesn’t look as though they’re exactly best of mates inside the band either.”
    “Don’t let the act fool you. They love it. All of them, but Alex most of all. They like being the chosen ones, the élite little crew. They’ll fight and argue and scream at each other,but let some poor bugger from outside try and come in to sort things out and they’re all over him.”
    “Like you?”
    “Exactly like me. I was with them for seven years, then just when things are getting really good, I’m out on my ear. I got too close, see? And Alex didn’t like it and Siobhan didn’t like it either—not that she’d ever say as much—and so I was gone. Why do you think they went with a manager that doesn’t even live in the fucking country?”
    “I assumed it was because Cal’s good.”
    “Yeah, well, he is. But they could have found someone good in England too. It’s easier for them that way, they stick together and get to keep all the outsiders out. I worked for them—with them—for all that time and I still never got to be an insider. There’s just Beneath The Blonde and the rest of us. I mean, they’re doing bloody well and the only real staff they have is Alex’s sister—how’s that for keeping it in the family? Everyone else is just hired in for the current gig or tour or whatever or comes from the record company. They wouldn’t give you the time of day if the management didn’t force them to talk to outsiders occasionally for the publicity and all. It’s sick, I reckon. Five grown people all living in each other’s pockets like that. What they need is someone to get in there and shake things up a bit”.
    Kevin was just getting into the stride of his rant when Beneath The Blonde’s first major hit came on the juke box. “Oh, fuck this. I’m out of here. I can’t listen to this shit.”
    He downed the rest of his pint and struggled up from the low table, looking down at Saz, eyes bleary with alcohol and reminiscence, “Ok sweetheart, I’m off. Now how much are you getting paid for this article?”
    Saz, lost in thought about Kevin’s fury at the band, didn’t quite understand his question, “I’m sorry?”
    “My fee, love. What am I getting? There’s no pension scheme for sacked roadies, you know.”
    “Oh yeah, sure.” Saz reached for her coat and fumbled in her pockets, “Um, fifty quid do you? I’m freelance. I haven’t exactly been commissioned for the piece yet.”
    Kevin took the proffered cash and stuffed it in his back pocket. “That’s cool. We’re all doing what we