Free Lost for You by BJ Harvey Page B

shower. Screw playing the waiting game!
    Rushing into the bathroom, I see her hugging her legs, sitting on the shower floor, her wet hair clinging to her body as the water runs over her. I stride into the shower room fully clothed, and sit down beside her before lifting her up into my lap and wrapping my arms around her. She barely raises her head before flinging her arms around my neck and crying into my chest.
    In this moment, I feel like I’m the one who has been shot. My heart is aching for her, wishing I could take away all of her pain.
    We sit in the shower for what seems like hours. It feels like time stands still as Elle and I hide away from the big bad world around us. Reaching up, I turn the shower off just as it starts to turn cold. I use one arm to brace myself against the wall and stand up, carrying her out of the shower as she clings to me, not wanting to let go even for a second. Grabbing towels from the towel rail, I wrap one around her shoulders and another around my chest. I walk through the bedroom and into the kitchen, putting her down on the kitchen counter and positioning myself between her legs as I start to dry her.
    Her whole body starts to shake, so I pull her close to me again. Her shoulders are slumped over, and she grabs my shirt, gripping so tight that her knuckles are almost white with strain. Once the shaking subsides, I shift back, placing my fingers under her chin so that her eyes meet mine. Her eyes are red and puffy, like she’s been crying for days.
    I’ve never seen her like this. So low, so broken, so shut down.
    “Baby, let me look after you. We’ll talk about everything tomorrow. I’ll tell you everything you want to know, but tonight I want to get you out of these wet clothes, wrap you up in my arms, and look after you. Will you let me do that, hon? I need you to let me help you.”

    Unable to form words, Elle slowly nods, never once dropping her gaze. I strip her wet tank top off her, wrapping her towel around her chest as I pull her off the counter, carefully placing her feet on the kitchen floor. I yank her shorts down her still wet legs until she’s standing naked and exposed in front of me.
    There is nothing sexual about this moment.
    I take her hand and lead her into our bedroom, walking over to her drawers and pulling out a new top and pajama pants for her. I kneel down in front of her, lifting her feet one at a time as I put her legs into the pants and pull them back up to her waist. Not once has she lifted her head. She appears mesmerized by my every move.
    Leading her over to the bed, I sit down on the edge and pull her into my lap as I hold the tank top in front of her. She puts her arms inside the top, and I pull it the rest of the way down her body, then I grab the towel and start drying her hair. I’m taking my time, wanting her to feel cherished and adored, hoping she’ll see the sincerity in my actions and not just my words. I wrap my arms around her and carry her into our bed.
    “I’ll just be a minute, sweetheart,” I murmur, placing a tender kiss her forehead. I make my way into the bathroom, stripping off my wet clothes and wrapping a towel around my waist. Walking back into the bedroom, I grab a pair of boxers from the closet and put them on before crawling into bed beside her.
    I move my arm around her shoulders and pull her tight into my side. She still hasn’t said a single word since I arrived. I start tracing shapes on her arm as I hold my lips to her forehead. She lays her head on my shoulder, moving one of her legs across mine as her heat cloaks me.
    This is where I’m meant to be.
    Where I hope Elle wants me to stay.
     

     
    I open my eyes and see beams of sunlight creeping through the gap in my blinds. I’m in my bed even though I can’t remember how I ended up here. I do remember Shay leaving and Brax finding me on the shower floor.
    He knew exactly what to do with me. He didn’t push me to talk; he just sat on the floor with me,