Free Never Never by Susan Kiernan-Lewis

changed how they felt about things.
    Sarah walked to her wagon to see if Fiona needed to be spelled with Declan and she thought of the anti-anxiety medications she’d been on back in Jacksonville.
    God, if I thought I had things to fret about back then, I wasn’t even on the same planet when it comes to worry compared to now. What she wouldn’t give for one of those little yellow tablets this morning. Just something to take the edge off the constant fear.
    The fact was she had so much to lose now. She had John and Siobhan and Mike. And the world steadily tried to kill each of them in a different way nearly every day.
    Nuala stood by the campfire with her baby in her arms. Fiona’s little girls were playing in the dirt at her feet and her two boys were by her side. She was scolding the older boy who was looking at his feet shamefaced.
    â€œHey, Nuala,” Sarah said. She looked at the boy. “Hi, Dennis. Or is it Damian?”
    The boy looked up at her through his fringe of hair, his blue eyes bright and clear.
    â€œDennis,” he said.
    â€œOff you go now,” Nuala said, shifting her baby to her other hip. “You too, Damian.”
    Both boys scampered off. Dennis immediately shoved his younger brother as they went.
    â€œMind yourselves, you lot,” Nuala called after them in a warning voice.
    â€œEverything okay?” Sarah asked.
    Nuala grimaced. “Just lads being lads,” she said. “Denny tried to roast Damian’s shoes in the fire.”
    Sarah’s eyes followed the boys until they disappeared into the woods. The very woods where Declan was knifed yesterday.
    â€œShould they be in the woods?”
    â€œOh, sure you’ll not keep lads out of mischief, Sarah. And you with a lad of your own all the way in the UK.”
    â€œDon’t remind me.”
    â€œThey’re a handful and no mistake,” Nuala said good-naturedly.
    Sarah couldn’t believe Nuala let them take off like that—boys or not. Nuala had three children—five counting the care of Fiona’s two—with no husband to help and yet she looked as calm and happy as if she had a nanny helping her with all the nappy folding.
    Why is she not sick with anxiety about their safety?
    â€œAre ye all right, Sarah? You look a little peaked.”
    â€œI’m fine,” Sarah said.
    â€œYou worry too much,” Nuala said. “So you do. You can’t change the world or keep them safe every minute. Why just this morning little Maeve was playing too close to the fire and didn’t she come this close to falling in?”
    â€œBut she didn’t?”
    â€œNay, her guardian angel was on duty. And she’ll know better next time.”
    I guess third-degree burns are a small price to pay for such life lessons , Sarah thought, but she made herself nod as if in agreement.

11
    M ike sat his horse and looked down the road. He’d swapped little Siobhan for a cup of tea and now warmed his fingers against the cup and watched the steam rise up and join the mist of the morning.
    Day four on the road and they’d gone approximately twenty kilometers, give or take. At this rate, it would be faster to crawl to the coast.
    Should they have turned around for poor Dec? Mike shook his head as if to clear it. He couldn’t explain the feeling—the inexplicable urge—to get somewhere safe as fast as possible.
    Something was coming. That’s all he knew. And they had to be secure when it did.
    How could he explain that to Sarah?
    â€œ I can’t explain why but I just feel in my gut that if we wait it might be too late?”
    The last thing he wanted to do was give her one more reason to freak out over possible doomsday scenarios. She was already remapping the whole definition of irrational worry.
    Except of course her fears weren’t irrational at all.
    At least Declan was improving, thank God. They’d resumed their journey yesterday and he appeared