Free Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man: A Novel by Fannie Flagg Page B

Daddy is happy about the whole thing because he put that dead electric eel in the ice cream freezer and is going to stuff it in the fall.
    At the Jr. Debutantes’ meeting I had to stand up and tell how I had saved Angel’s life. After I was finished, one of those shrimpers’ daughters made a snoot at me. Creep. Mrs. Dot said that I was a natural-born storyteller and very brave on top of that. She is going to put it in her “Dashes from Dot” column.
    I guess I should have told them Michael had been there, too. Oh, well, I don’t think he reads the paper anyway. Mrs. Dot’s thought for the day was about snakes in honor of my story. She said, “Never be rude to a rattlesnake because he is the gentleman of the snake world. He always announces his comings and goings with a rattle.”
    I want to go to Magnolia Springs and see the double feature that is playing there now. Listen to this ad:
    “THE COMMIE NAZI SHOW” … HITLER’S CAPTIVE WOMEN AND SLAVES OF THE SOVIET, FILMED IN MOSCOW. ALL WOMEN MUST SERVE THE STATE. FACTS ABOUT THE STATE CONTROL OF LOVE, PAGAN BIRTH RIGHTS, DEPUTY HUSBANDS, TORTURE FOR GIRLS THAT REBEL, DEGRADING AND SINFUL .
    and the other film that is playing is called
Prehistoric Women … They Feared No Beast, Only the Beast in Man
. I can’t wait. Mr. Honeywell and his all-girl army are taking me as a reward for being a hero. Mr. Honeywell believes that this double feature is something that every American woman should see.
    Jimmy Snow got put in jail for crashing his plane into his old girlfriend’s house and waking her up. We went to see him and he seems right at home. The policemen like him a lot and give him beer and everything. I found out from one of those policemen that Jimmy Snow is a war hero for shooting down Japanese planes. Daddy told me that’s why he drinks so much, he misses the war.
    Jimmy was raised in an orphanage in Tennessee and doesn’t know who his parents are. I can’t get over him having snow white hair and eyebrows when he isn’t even that old. He may have been scared real bad once or else he could have albino blood, like Ula Sour, and not even know it! But I’m not telling him!
August 3, 1952
    Guess what? Hank and Tommie Jo are going to have a baby. I hope it’s a girl. If it is, they should name it Claudette after Claudette Colbert.
    I wrote and told her that I thought she was wonderful in
The Egg and I
. I haven’t received an answer yet, but as you know, she is one of the busiest film stars in Hollywood. If it’s a boy, they should just call it Hank, Jr.
    I don’t go out much anymore. I had my feelings hurt real bad. I was over at the Kowboskis’ carnival, sweeping out the pennyarcade for Mr. Kowboski, when one of his daughters came in and told me to go home, that I didn’t belong there, the carnival was a family business.
    Then she hit me, so I hit her back, and all of those kids jumped on me at once. Big families really stick together. Mr. Kowboski got them off and took me for a long walk. He told me not to feel bad. They were just jealous because I was an only child and didn’t live in a school bus. And I shouldn’t cry because I don’t fit in anywhere. That is what is going to make me special and it will all work out OK someday.
    I went to see the movie about the Communists. Boy, I don’t ever want to be one of those. Daddy and Mr. Honeywell are having a fight because Daddy thinks Mr. McCarthy, the Commie fighter, is wrong, but Mr. Honeywell says he is right to get all those Reds out of the country. After seeing that movie, I agree with Mr. Honeywell. Besides, I sure don’t want to stand in line forever to buy my groceries. I want to be rich, but I will be a good rich person.
    I’m in charge of the friendship basket for the Jr. Debutantes. I am going around all over Shell Beach and getting everyone to put stuff in it for the poor. I wonder who these poor people are. I never get to see them. I wanted to take that friendship basket up to the